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Part VI : Response to Meditations
It happens many times. It has been my own experience that people
come to me and they say, "Now meditation is going deep but
we are scared." An ultimate feeling is bound to come when
you feel a "dying" fear, as if death is approaching
near. When meditation comes to its peak it is deathlike. I tell
them, "Don't worry, I am with you." Then they feel okay.
I cannot be there - impossible! No one can be there. This is untrue.
No one can be there, you will be alone. That point is one of total
aloneness. But when I say, "I will be there, you don't worry,
you go ahead," they feel okay and they move. If I say, "You
will be alone and no one is going to be there," they will
step back. The point has come where fear is bound to be there.
The abyss is there and they are going to fall - I must help them
to fall. So I say that I am there, you just take the jump. And
they take the jump! After the jump they will come to know that
no one was there, but now, now the whole thing is finished. They
cannot come back. This is a device.
All systems are devices to help: to help people who are full
of doubts, to help people who have no trust, to help people who
have no confidence. To help people to move into the unknown without
fear, systems are created. In those systems everything is just
like a myth, that is why there are so many systems. Mahavira creates
his own - that system is created according to the needs of his
followers. So he creates a system. It is a myth, but very helpful,
because many moved through it and reached to the truth. And when
they reached they knew that the system was false - but it worked.
vbt76
If I tell you to run just now, you will say, "I am feeling
sleepy, I cannot run." And then someone comes and says, "Your
house is on fire." Suddenly the sleepiness has gone. There
is no tiredness, you feel fresh; you start running. What has happened
so suddenly? You were tired, and the emergency has made you connected
with the second layer of energy, so you are fresh again. This
is the second layer. In this (active) technique, the second layer
has to be exhausted. The first layer is exhausted very easily.
Continue. You will feel tired, but continue. And within a few
moments a new surge of energy will come, and you will feel again
renewed and there will be no tiredness.
So many people come to me and they say, "When we are in a
meditation camp, it seems miraculous that we can do this much.
In the morning, for one hour meditating actively, chaotically,
going completely mad. And then in the afternoon we do an hour,
and then in the night also. Three times a day we can go on meditating
chaotically." Many have said that they feel that this is
impossible, that they cannot continue and they will be dead tired,
and the next day it will be impossible to move any limb of the
body. But no one gets tired. Three sessions every day, doing such
exertions, and no one is tired. Why? Because they are in contact
with the second layer of energy.
But if you are doing it alone - go to a hill and do it alone - you
will become tired. When the first layer is finished you will feel,
"Now I am tired." But in a big group of five hundred
people doing meditation, you feel, "No one is tired, so I
should continue a little more." And everyone is thinking
the same: "No one is tired, so I should continue a little
more. If everyone is fresh and doing, why should I feel tired?"
That group feeling gives you an impetus, and soon you reach the
second layer. And the second layer is very big - an emergency
layer. When the emergency layer is also tired, finished, only
then are you in contact with the cosmic, the source, the infinite.
That is why much exertion is needed - so much that you feel,
"Now it is going beyond me." The first moment you feel
it is going beyond you, it is not going beyond you - it is
just going beyond the first layer. And when the first layer is
finished, you will feel tired. When the second layer is finished,
you will feel, "If I do anything now, I will be dead."
So many come to me, and they say that whenever they reach deep
in meditation, a moment comes when they become afraid and scared
and they say, "Now I am afraid. It seems as if I am going
to die. Now I cannot penetrate any further. A fear grips me, as
if I am going to die, now I will not be able to come out of meditation."
That is the right moment - the moment when you need courage.
A little courage, and you will penetrate the third, the deepest,
infinite layer. vbt17
I often see small trivialities become hindrances. A man is trying
to save his clothes, save his body. While meditating, someone
is pushed and jostled. He saves himself by coming out of the group.
He sits outside, away from the other meditators. How long will
he save his body? He is trying to save it from a small push, but
what will happen at the time of the final push? It will be better
if one becomes accustomed to small pushes, so that when the last
push comes, he won't get frightened. The last push cannot be avoided.
If the sun is hot, the meditator gives up. What difference does
it make? He will perspire a little more, his skin will get tanned.
If not today then tomorrow, that skin is going to burn to black
coal and ash. What today you are saving from the hot sun, tomorrow
your own relatives will burn. But we are so busy saving these
layers that can never be saved; and what is saved for us forever,
we do not even care to know. We become entangled and lost in trivialities
and waste our precious lives.
The sage says it is imperishable. He advises us to go in search
for that which is imperishable. Whoever the immortal and the imperishable
is rich; all others are poor. He has gained that which cannot
be stolen by thieves, cannot be burnt by fire or destroyed by
weapons, and cannot be killed or obliterated. Now there remains
no form. And whenever someone jumps deep into the flow of the
immortal, he finds that everything there is unchangeable. thousd03
I have come across many intelligent people who go on saying very
unintelligent things about meditation. One man came from Delhi;
he is a big government official. He came only for the purpose
of learning meditation here. He had come from Delhi, and he stayed
seven days here. I told him to go to the morning meditation class
on Chowpatty beach in Bombay*, but he said, "But that is
difficult. I cannot get up so early." And he will never think
over what his mind has told him. Is this so difficult? Now you
will know: the exercise can be simple, but your mind is not so
simple. The mind says, "How can I get up in the morning at
six o'clock?" vbt02
*Note: Dynamic Meditation took place every morning at 6am on Chowpatty
Beach near Woodlands Apartment, which Osho did not attend
Only two or three days before, one old lady was here. Her husband
is doing meditation deeply. Now she has become worried because
he has become more silent. She came to tell me, "My husband
has become more silent, and I fear that if this goes on he may
become a sannyasin. He may leave us, he may renounce us. So stop
my husband from meditation." So I asked her if he had become
more of a bad man than he was before. She said, "No, he has
become more good. He is not angry now as he was before. He is
more loving, more compassionate. But the whole family has become
disturbed. There is a fear that he may leave us."
This fear was not only the fear of the wife. I asked her husband
also. He said, "I myself have become uneasy - because
the silence is going in, and as the silence is going in everything
begins to look different. My family doesn't look to be at all
mine. It is as if it is someone else's family. I feel more compassion
for the children, but now they are not 'mine'. I am doing everything
for them and I will go on doing it, but it is as if I am doing
it in a play, in a drama. 'I' am not involved, so I myself have
become afraid. If this goes on, then anything can happen. Any
day I may leave them."
This fear was of the unknown. A fixed pattern had been there;
now a new factor entered it. And that new factor is so alive,
it will change everything. So he asked me, "If you tell me
to stop, I will stop meditation. And then, in my family, everyone
will be happy."
You are afraid of your freedom and everyone else is also afraid
of your freedom, so we have a society of slaves. And in our families
we have such a deep investment. That is why we do not move toward
freedom.
Every moment you are free to choose. You can choose spirituality
every moment, or you can choose old habits. To be with old habits
is easy. You know them; you have lived them. Nothing is new. With
the new you are in the unknown, in the dark. You have to learn
again. So a person who is moving in freedom has to be a learner
every moment. And he cannot rely on the past. The past will not
help. ult206
Mind is the difficulty, the problem. Our minds are trained scientifically.
Our minds are trained analytically. And the method of analysis
has some basic qualities: one quality is always to be the outsider.
For example, someone came to me last night, and he said...he
was here for the first time; he observed your meditation, he came
to me and he said, "This looks absolutely foolish."
He is right in a way; it looks foolish whether it is or not. But
when he says it looks foolish, he is saying something about himself,
not about the meditation. It looks foolish to him. But how could
he judge? He was not a participant; he was not in it, he was not
doing it - he was observing.
Science observes from the outside; religion goes deep. Religion
means involvement, looking at things from inside. A religious
person will never say, "It looks foolish." He will say,
"It looks strange." He will say, "It looks mysterious."
This judgment shows much about the person. He can judge a thing
without knowing it; he can judge a thing without experiencing
it.
So I told the man, "Rethink the whole thing - whether
your judgment is foolish or the persons who were doing it were
foolish. Rethink it, because to judge a thing from outside is
not good; it is not good, it is fallacious. To judge so immediately
is not even scientific. And to judge according to one's own fixed
mind and attitude, according to one's prejudices is not just."
But science goes on, logic goes on, mind goes on in this way:
judging everything from the outside. From the outside you can
be aware only of parts. You can see my hands, you can see my eyes,
you can see my face, you can see my legs, but you cannot see me.
I am something else existing inside. Parts exist as my outside.
I am the inside of my parts, and that inside is the whole. Someone
jumping, crying, weeping or laughing in meditation, may look foolish - but
from the outside. You don't know what is happening inside him.
What is happening inside him? How can you know from the outside?
If he is weeping, what is going on inside him? What is happening
to the whole inside? This weeping, if you take it as a part then
it is foolish, it is meaningless. If you take it as a whole, deep
down something must be happening there which is being released
by the tears. Deep down something must be exploding which is being
thrown out by his cries and screams. Deep down something must
have been moving which is shown by his mad movements. Deep down
something so new is happening, something exploding, some inner
energy moving through new centers. But that is something inside,
and you cannot observe it. You have to go through it.
You can be a participant but not an observer in religion. thou31
In the last Abu Shivir, there was one person, very learned and
holding a government job. For two days he watched. He came to
me and said, "I shall not be able to do this that the others
are doing." I said, "How can you say you will not be
able to do it? Have you tried or without trying you say this?
Or is it because you are afraid that what is within will come
out. What is the reason?" Our friend looked a little frightened.
He glanced hesitantly at his wife who was sitting by his side.
I told his wife to leave us alone for perhaps he was not prepared
to give up his intellectualism before her. Then he said, "This
is my fear that if I begin to jump and dance, perhaps I shall
cause a lot of confusion".
I told him, "Go ahead and cause as much confusion as you
like. Try it out once. You will then get acquainted with a completely
new part of yourself. That is your authentic face which comes
up in your unguarded moment and over which you have no control.
It comes up for a moment and is hidden again."
Psychologists say that anger is temporary madness. It is madness
in its complete form, only temporary. It lasts a short while and
hence you are not aware of it. If it becomes permanent, you will
go mad. That which is temporary, can become permanent any time.
I advised him to try, "Shall I try? Shall I dare?" I
told him it is no question of trying or daring. You will have
tied a band on your eyes and when you feel the madness coming,
forget that you are a big official, that you are an educated and
intelligent man."
The third day I saw him jumping. He was a different person altogether.
He came to me and said, "I feel so free and light! So much
so, I feel I shall fly away. God knows how many maladies have
left me. Now I feel, whatever you say, will come within my understanding."
The guard of intellectualism that stands watch on our mind has
to be removed. Then only can understanding penetrate within you.
So first do something to break this so-called understanding. way115
You ask: We can practice right behavior, and behavior according
to duty, but then we will be wearing false faces, as we are inwardly,
as You say, a madhouse. So should we act as we feel, or act as
we ought?
The first thing to be understood: you have to be authentic to
yourself - sincere, honest. But that doesn't mean that you
have to hurt others through your honesty and sincerity, that doesn't
mean that you have to disturb others, that doesn't mean that you
have to disturb the rules of the game. All relationships are just
rules of the game, and many times you will have to act and wear
masks, false faces. The only thing to remember is: don't become
the mask. Use it if it is good, and keep the rules, but don't
become the mask, don't get identified. Act it, don't get identified
with it.
This is a great problem, particularly in the West for the new
generation. They have heard too much; they have already been seduced
by this idea: be sincere and be honest. This is good, but you
don't know how cunning and destructive the mind is. Your mind
can find excuses. You can say a truth, not because you love truth
so much but just to hurt somebody; you can use it as a weapon.
And if you are using it as a weapon it is not truth, it is worse
than a lie.
Sometimes you can help somebody through a lie, and sometimes relationship
becomes more easy through a lie. Then use it - but don't get
identified with it. What I am saying is: Be a good player, learn
the rules of the game; don't be too adamant about anything....
Everything helps you to grow in its own way.
The one thing to remember is: life is a great complexity. You
are not alone here, there are many others related to you. Be sincere
unto yourself, never be false there. Know well what you want,
and for yourself remain that. But there are others also; don't
unnecessarily hurt them. And if you need to wear masks, wear them
and enjoy them, but remember, they are not your original face,
and be capable of taking them off any moment. Remain the master,
don't become the slave; otherwise you can be violent through your
sincerity, unnecessarily you can be violent.
I have seen persons who are cruel, violent, aggressive, sadistic - but
sincere, very true, authentic. But they are using their authenticity
just for their sadism. They want to make others suffer, and their
trick is such that you cannot escape them. They are true, so you
cannot say, "You are bad." They are good people, they
are never bad, so no one can say to them, "You are bad."
They are always good, and they do the bad through their good.
Don't do that, and don't take life too seriously. Nothing is wrong
in masks also, faces also. Just as in the drama on the stage they
use faces and enjoy and the audience also enjoys, why not enjoy
them in real life also? It is not more than a drama. But I am
not saying for you to be dishonest. Be sincere with yourself,
don't get identified. But life is great; there are many around
you related in many invisible nets. Don't hurt anybody....
Others are there, consider them, and don't try to be violent through
so-called good things. So when it is said, "right conduct,"
it means right relationship with others. You need not be false.
When you can be true without hurting anybody, be true. But if
you feel that your truth is going to hurt many and is unnecessary,
it can be avoided, then avoid it, because it is not only going
to hurt others, it will create patterns of cause, and those causes
will return as effects on you, they will become your karmas. Then
you will get entangled, and the more entangled you are the more
you will have to behave in wrong ways.
Just stop. Just see the situation. If you can be true without
hurting anybody, be true. To me, love is greater than truth. Be
loving. And if you feel that your truth will be hurtful and violent,
it is better to lie than to be true. Wait for the right moment
when you can be true, and help the other person to come to such
a state where your truth will not hurt him. Don't be in a hurry.
And life is a big drama; don't take it too seriously - because
seriousness is also a disease of the mind, seriousness is part
of the ego. Be playful, don't be too serious. So sometimes you
will have to use masks, because there are children around you
and they like masks, they like false faces, and they enjoy. Help
them to grow so they can face the real face, they can encounter
it. But before they can encounter it, don't create any trouble.
Right conduct is just consideration for others.
And look: there is a great difference. You may misunderstand what
I am saying. When you lie, you lie for yourself. And I am saying:
if you need, and if you feel the need to lie, only lie for the
consideration of others. Never lie for yourself, don't use any
mask for yourself. But if you feel it is going to help others,
it will be good for them, use the mask. And inside remain alert
that this is just a game you are acting, this is not real....
To me, and to the Upanishads also, right conduct means just the
right rules of behavior with others. You are not going to be here
forever. You cannot change the whole world, you cannot change
everybody; you can at the most change yourself. So it is better
to change yourself inwardly, and don't try to be in a continuous
fight with everybody. Avoid fight - and faces can be helpful.
Avoid unnecessary struggle, because that dissipates energy. Preserve
your energy to be used for the inner work. And that work is so
significant and it needs all your energy that you can give to
it, so don't waste it in unnecessary things.
For the outside world remain an actor, and don't think that you
are deceiving anybody. If they like deception, that's what they
need, that's what should be given to them. If children like toys
to play with, you are not deceiving them. Don't give them a real
gun; let them play with the toy gun, because they like the toy.
And don't think that the toy gun is false; don't think, "I
must be true, I must give a real gun to the child. If he needs
a gun, then I must give the true thing. How can I give the toy?
This is a deception."
But the child needs the toy, there is no deception; he doesn't
need the real gun. So just look at the other, at what he needs,
and give him that which he needs. Don't give out of your own consideration,
give out of consideration for him. Look at him, study and observe
him, and behave in such a way that will be helpful to him and
will not be unnecessary trouble for you. This is all that is meant
by right conduct. vedant07
Only love can become an antidote. Otherwise when the energy comes
to you and you are overfilled with it, you will start dominating.
This happens every day. I have come across many, many people....
I start helping them, they will grow a little, and the moment
they feel that a certain energy is coming to them they will start
dominating others, they will try now to use it.
Remember, never use spiritual energy to dominate. You are wasting
your efforts. Sooner or later you will be empty again, and you
will fall down suddenly. And this is pure wastage, but it is very
difficult to control it because you become aware that now you
can do certain things. If you touch someone who was ill and he
becomes okay, how can you resist touching others now? How can
you resist?
If you cannot resist, you will waste your energy. Something has
happened to you, but soon you will throw it away unnecessarily.
And really, the mind is so cunning that you may be thinking that
you are helping others by healing them. That may be just a cunning
trick of the mind, because if you have no love, how can you be
so concerned with others' diseases, their illnesses, their health?
You are not concerned. Really, now this is a power. If you can
heal, you can dominate them.
You may say, "I am just helping them," but even in your
help you are simply trying to dominate them. Your ego will be
fulfilled. This will become a food for your ego. So all the old
treatises say beware. They say beware because when the energy
comes to you, you are at a dangerous point. You can waste it,
you can throw it away. When you feel any energy, make it a secret;
do not allow anyone to know about it. vbt22
Remember this, don't guide anyone unless you have a certain knowledge,
a certain experience. And even then, tell others that "this
is my experience. It may not be so for you. It is how I have come
to it. Your way may differ; it may not prove true for you. So
don't take my advice blindly. You can experiment with it. It is
an open experiment."
Then you can be of some help. Otherwise, you can create disturbances.
Don't get tempted. Don't advise unless you really know. Don't
guide. First be a disciple; don't try to be a master. Mastership
will come. When your discipleship has become complete and total,
the master will emerge within you. But not before that moment,
not before that time. Wait for it. It happens. alchem14
Now, in India you cannot prevent anybody from any kind of meditation.
That word is enough! When I started teaching people dynamic meditation,
there was trouble everywhere, even in my own house. My uncle started
doing it, and the neighbor filed a case against him in the court.
My uncle told me, "This is a difficult meditation. That neighbor
was my friend, and he would not normally do such a thing, but
he is so angry that he says, 'unless you stop this meditation
I am going to fight the case, because you disturb me early in
the morning; when one really feels like falling into a deep sleep,
that is the time of your dynamic!"'
But I told my uncle - and he is our sannyasin; he was here
just a few days ago - "Don't be worried. You just say
that this is our religion, and this is our meditation." Once
you say "meditation" in India, there is no problem.
When he came here, I asked, "What happened to the case?"
He said, "We have won the case, because I said, 'This is
our meditation,' and I produced the book.
"The judge read the description and he said, 'If it is a
meditation, then...the court has no power over religion.'
So he told the neighbor,'You have to accept it, there is no other
way. This is his meditation. If you want to do it, you can also
do it. Why get unnecessarily boiled up and angry in your bed? - better
you also start.'"
And the neighbor was very irritated with the court.
He said, "This is strange - the court suggesting, 'You
also start, why waste time? And if it is meditation, we have no
jurisdiction over religion.'" ignor21
It happened at a camp in Matheran. I was staying very far away
from the campus ground. The first evening, when I was going to
my bungalow, a dog followed - really a rare dog. Then the
dog remained continuously. Three times I would go to conduct the
camp, and three times I would return. It was half an hour's journey.
Three times I was asleep, and he would sit just on the veranda.
Even when he went to eat something he never left me. For the whole
camp this was his routine. He would follow me to the camp, and
when others were meditating he would sit more silently, more deeply,
than those who were attending the camp. And then he would go back
with me.
The last day, when I left Matheran by train, he followed the
train. He was running by the side of the train, and the guard
took compassion on him and he took him in. Up to Neral he came.
This train was a slow train, a toy train, coming from Matheran
to Neral, traveling just seven miles in two hours, and the dog
could follow. But from Neral it is a fast train, when I took the
train from Neral to Bombay others were standing there on the platform
weeping and crying, and the dog was also standing there in tears.
wing09
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