| 
Part VII : Darshan: About Babies
People ask me - sometimes a young man, sometimes a young woman - whether
it would be a good thing for them to have a baby. I say to them,
"First go deep into meditation, then you can become parents;
otherwise, what will you have to offer your child? And if you
don't have meditation, the child's presence will reveal all your
weakness and all your poverty, because you will find you have
nothing to give. So it is better that you first go deep into meditation
and then become parents, because then you will be able to fulfill
the responsibility of parenthood - and not as a duty, but
blissfully."
Give your children meditation as well as thinking.
Thinking will help them to be successful in the world, and meditation
will help them towards success in the divine. Give them thought
to sharpen their intellects, give them meditation to nurture the
sacred in their hearts. nowher10
A sannyasin says she's pregnant. She'd decided to have an abortion
and thought she was happy with the decision, but since then, whenever
she thinks about it she feels a tremendous amount of sadness.
Mm mm. This will be a momentary sadness. If you want to become
a mother then you want to get into deeper troubles, because it
is not a question that can be easily solved once the child is
there. I don't think that you are ready to become a mother right
now. But if you want to become one, that's your choice, mm? - that's
your choice. But then you have to take the consequences also.
Otherwise, everyday it happens, some sannyasin comes with two,
three children, and they want…. Now what to do with those
children? - somebody has to take care of them. The mother
cannot have her own growth, she cannot work; she has to take care
of the children. And then there are complications.
Once you have finished your growth-work then it is perfectly
good. A child should be a leisure thing, mm? it should be the
last luxury. Then you can treat yourself by being a mother, otherwise
it will create complications. So you decide. Nobody is forcing
you, it is for you to decide: if you want to become a mother then
you want to become a mother. But then take the consequences also.
People are not aware of what they are doing when they want to
bring a child into the world. Otherwise they will feel sorry about
that, rather than feeling sorry about an abortion. Just think
of both the possibilities: what will you give to the child? What
have you got to give to the child?
You will bring your tensions into his being and he will repeat
the same kind of life as yours. He will go to the psychoanalyst,
he will go to the psychiatrist, and his whole life will be a problem - just
as it is with everybody. What right have you to bring a soul into
the world when you cannot give the person a whole and healthy
being? It is a crime! People think otherwise: they think abortion
is a crime. But the child will find some other mother, because
nothing dies. And there are many, many women who will be happy
to have the child; it is just that you will not be responsible
for it.
I am not saying not to become a mother; I am saying become a
mother, but be aware that becoming a mother is a great art, it
is a great achievement. First create that quality, that creativity,
in you, that joy, that celebration, and then invite the child.
Then you will have something to give to the child - your celebration,
your song, your dance - and you will not create a pathological
being. The world is already too crowded with pathological beings.
Let some other planet suffer! Why this earth? In fact right now
to think in terms of bringing a child is really criminal. The
world is overcrowded. If a person has a little awareness, he will
not bring a child into it at any cost; he will sacrifice his motherhood
and fatherhood. The world is starving, people are dying and food
is not there, the whole ecology is disturbed and life is going
to be more and more ugly and hellish; this is not the right time.
And even if you think that it is okay, that the world will look
after itself, they will find some way, you still have to think
about your child. Are you ready to be a mother? - that is
the thing. And I don't mean by being ready to be a mother: are
you ready to become pregnant. That is not being ready to be a
mother; any woman can become pregnant. Pregnancy is not equivalent
to motherhood. Pregnancy is a biological phenomenon. Every girl,
a healthy girl, physically healthy, is able to become pregnant;
but just because you can conceive it doesn't mean you have to
have a child. Just think of many other things: you have to give
a psychological womb to the child, a spiritual womb to the child.
Is it ready? If it is ready, if you think it is ready, go ahead:
have a child.
I will start telling my people to have children, but let me
prepare my people first. Then you will be happy to have a child
and the child will be happy that he was fortunate to have a mother
like you. Otherwise just go to any psychiatrist and ask 'What
are people's problems?' They can be reduced to one thing: the
mother. You ask the Primal therapist, you ask our therapists,
'What is the problem with people?' All problems can be reduced
to the mother, because the mother was not capable of giving a
psychological womb, the mother was not capable of giving a spiritual
womb. Psychologically she was neurotic, spiritually she was empty,
so there was no spiritual food for the child, no nourishment.
The child comes into the world as a physical being, without a
soul, without any centre. The mother was not centred; how can
the child be centred? The child is simply a continuation, a continuity
of the mother's being.
You are young so there is no hurry. You can become pregnant
again; there is no problem in it. But still, if you feel, 'No,
this abortion is going to be very bad for me', have the child.
I can only suggest, there is no order in it. Finally you have
to decide on your own. Nobody can ever throw responsibility on
me because these are just suggestions. Take it or leave it; that
is up to you. And you are always responsible. If you take my advice,
then you are responsible; if you don't take it, you are still
responsible. I am just outside it. For me it is perfectly good,
whether you become a mother or not is not a problem for me. But
one should see all the implications of it.
If one sees all the implications of it, very few people will
decide to become fathers and mothers. And it would be a better
world if fewer people decided to be mothers and fathers. It would
be less crowded, less neurotic, less pathological, less crazy.
Think about it. And don't be worried, just think; there is no
hurry. For three days think, and then come to a decision and do
whatsoever you feel. believ03
A sannyasin says: I feel that I'm pregnant since we've been here.
Is there any meditation or thing to do that will be helpful for
the baby or for us?
Just remain as happy and loving as possible. Avoid negativities - that's
what destroys the mind of the child. When the child is in formation
he not only follows your body, he follows your mind too, because
those are the blueprints. So if you are negative, that negativity
starts entering in the build-up of the child from the very beginning.
It becomes almost built-in, and then it is a long, arduous journey
to drop it. If mothers were a little more careful, no primal scream
would be needed. If mothers were a little more careful, psychoanalysis
as a profession would disappear.
Psychoanalysis is doing great business because of mothers, because
according to psychoanalysis man's only problem is the mother.
If all the schools of psychoanalysis could be reduced to one single
problem, it would be the mother. The mother is really of great
significance because for nine months the child will live in the
climate of the mother; he will imbibe her mind, her whole mind.
So don't be negative. Be more and more in the yes mood - even
sometimes when it looks hard. But that much sacrifice has to be
made for the child. If you really want to have a child of some.
So don't be negative. Be more and more in the yes mood - even
sometimes when it looks hard. But that much sacrifice has to be
made for the child. If you really want to have a child of some
value, of some integrity, of some individuality, and a happy child,
then that sacrifice has to be made. That is part of being a mother - that
sacrifice. So don't be negative at all; avoid all negativities.
Avoid anger, avoid jealousy, avoid possessiveness, nagging, fighting,
avoid these spaces. These you cannot afford - you are creating
a new being! The work is of such importance that one cannot be
silly and stupid.
Rejoice more and more, pray, dance, sing, listen to great music - not
pop music. Listen to classical music, which is soothing and goes
very deep into the unconscious, because the child can hear it
only from there.
Sit silently as much as you can, enjoy nature. Be with trees,
birds, animals, because they are really innocent. They are still
part of the garden of Eden - only Adam and Eve have been thrown
out. Even the tree of knowledge is still in the garden of Eden;
only Adam has been thrown out. So be with nature more, and relax
so that the child grows in a relaxed womb, non-tense; otherwise
from the very beginning the child starts becoming neurotic.
To her husband, Osho says: And help her in these days so that
she can be more positive. Don't provoke her into negativity. Give
her more and more time so that she can sit silently, be with the
trees, listen to the birds, the music. Avoid any situation in
which you think it can become a provocation for her to become
negative. Be more loving, rejoice in each other's silence more,
because you are both giving birth to something which is divine.
Each child is divine, and when something great is going to happen,
a great guest is going to come to your home, you don't fight.
And this may be the greatest guest that will ever come to you,
so for these nine months be careful, cautious, watchful.
Be more loving and less sexual. If sex happens out of being loving,
it's okay - but not for sex's sake itself. From the very beginning
that gives the child a deep-rooted sexuality. Sex is perfectly
good in the context of love, as part of love - just as you
hold hands and hug each other, as a part of love. One day you
make love too but as part of love. It is not sexuality then; it
is just a communion. You have not been thinking about sex; it
has happened on its own. Playing with each other, being with each
other, it has happened. You were not thinking of it, you were
not brooding about it.
If for these nine months you can avoid sex as sex, that will be
a great gift to the child. Then his life will not be so obsessed
with sex as people's lives are. Either they become too indulgent - which
is obsession - or they become too repressive, too holy, too
saintly; that too is obsession. In the world only these two types
of people exist, and both are ill, both are pathological; the
sinner and the saint are both pathological.
A totally different kind, a third kind of human being, is needed.
And that third kind of being will have this quality: no obsession
with sex this way or that - neither against nor for; he will
be exactly in the middle. Out of love sometimes he will move into
sex, but then sex has a spiritual quality. It is not for sex itself.
Because there will be no obsession with sex indulgence he will
never become repressive. And because sex will have a spiritual
quality it will give him glimpses of samadhi and he will start
moving upwards, very slowly, very gradually, with no fuss about
it. Otherwise spirituality makes so much fuss.
A real spiritual person will not make much fuss; there is no need.
He simply enjoys it, so he is not renouncing, he is not doing
something great. He does not expect the whole world to give him
attention and come and pay homage saying, "You are a great
man because you have renounced this and you have renounced that."
He does not renounce anything at all. He enjoys everything and
because of his total enjoyment his energy starts becoming more
and more delightful, and finally more and more lightful.
So just these hints - you have to work them out. Good! athing07
A sannyasin who is pregnant asks Osho for advice about the actual
child birth.
Just remain prayerful, meditative and delighting. When you start
feeling that the child is coming, relax absolutely and help the
child, don't fight it. Mm? we have been conditioned in such a
way and we have been told that childbirth is very painful to the
mother. That idea has been repeated so long that it has become
very deeply rooted in us. It is an auto-hypnosis; there is no
pain really. You believe, then it is there.
In fact, there is a possibility of great ecstasy when the child
is born. Once you can know that ecstasy, no love-making will ever
give you that much ecstasy again - it is simply tremendous!
So when you start feeling that the waves are coming, just cooperate,
enjoy, start moving with the child, help the child - and wait
with great expectation, that great ecstasy is going to be there.
You will feel a great orgasm coming all over the body.
Don't be shy - if you want to sing, sing; if you want to just
utter gibberish, utter gibberish; if you just want to make sounds,
make sounds; if you want to sway and move, sway and move. Don't
bother about what others will say - just go into whatsoever
spontaneously happens, and you will have known a great experience!
In fact, that should be a must - because if the child's life
starts with your pain, a conflict has started. The beginning is
bad, and you will never have a real friendship with the child.
He will look like the enemy: he has given you so much pain. So
the very beginning of your relationship will be poisoned.
If the child can give you great ecstasy, you will be grateful
to him. And then there is the possibility of great friendship,
of great love.
So it is a must - not only for your being, but for the child's
existence in the future, it is a must. What I am saying is that
if it happens then the child will be very sane and will not have
many kinds of mental illnesses that are naturally there with every
child, with every human being, because the very beginning is wrong.
The birth of a child in pain is a bad beginning, not a good start - the
relationship is already of the enemy.
So for these six or seven days, just relax, prepare, be joyful,
meditate, pray to god. Just remember me, and when the child is
coming take the locket in your hand and be ready for a great orgasm.
And if it comes - it will come, I will see that it comes - don't
resist! If you resist, it will be destroyed. It cannot come against
you, it can come only through your cooperation.
The primitives know how beautiful it is to give birth to a child.
Never again does a woman come to that peak - because it is
the same energy source from where you attain the sexual orgasm.
The child will be pushing the same energy source, will be trying
to come out of the same tunnel from where you attain your sexual
orgasm.
In fact, why has this idea of pain arisen? My understanding is
that sometimes if pleasure is too much it looks like pain - it
is unbearable, then it looks like pain. That's why this idea that
childbirth is painful has arisen in the human mind. It is really
too pleasant - it is such intense pleasure, more than you
have ever known before, so you misinterpret.
It is unbearable; the happiness of it is so much, intolerable,
you start feeling that you will die. So the idea of pain has arisen.
And once it has arisen, by and by, it has got into the deepest
unconscious and from there it is functioning. Just remember for
these six days, every night when you go to sleep, remember that
it is going to be a great day, a great experience, and the highest
peak that you will ever attain. And it is going to be so!
Let that day be of great ecstasy and meditation, of great joy.
And if you can attain to an orgasm it will be a blessing to the
child, because he will be coming out of a great orgasm, and you
will feel grateful, always grateful towards him. You will always
remember that day - it is impossible to forget it. And your
relationship with the child will have a different quality.
Everything is good, mm?
To the father of the baby: Be there and help her to be ecstatic - and
don't be there with a long face!
Tell jokes and enjoy, mm? Don't be there with a long face - there
is nothing to be sad about.
Where will you be - in Ajit Saraswati's maternity home? (Ajit
Saraswati is a sannyasin gynaecologist)
He replies: Yes, we're going to rent a room…
You can be there, mm? And a few sannyasins can be there. You
can put on some music and incense and dance and sing. When a new
guest is coming…!
Invite a few sannyasins - they can dance and create joy
and some energy there. Very good! madmen24
|
