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Part VII : Leaving Darshans
You are asking: You talk a lot to us about how important satsang
is, being in the presence of an enlightened, liberated man. Yet
a lot of your sannyasins spend most of their lives away from you.
If it was up to you would you have all of us live here in Poona
with you all the time?
No. Because to be in the presence too much can be an overdose.
Rather than helping it can hinder you. Everything should always
be in proportion and in balance. It is possible when something
is sweet that you can eat more of it than you should. You can
forget your need; you can overstuff yourself. And satsang is sweet
it is the sweetest thing in the world. In fact it is alcoholic…you
can become a drunkard. That will not liberate you; that will create
a new bondage.
Being near a Master can either become a bondage or a liberation,
it depends. Just by being near, there is no necessity that you
will be liberated: you can get indigestion; and you can become
addicted to the presence. No, that is not good. Whenever I feel
that somebody needs a space of his own, whenever I feel that somebody
needs to go away from me, I send him away. It is good to create
hunger, then satiety goes deep. And if you are with me too much
you may become even oblivious of me. Not only indigestion, you
may completely forget me….
Things are complex. Sometimes I send you away to feel me more.
It is needed. A separation is needed so that you can come close
again. There must be a rhythm of being with the Master and not
being with the Master. In that rhythm many possibilities open
because, finally, you have to be on your own. The Master cannot
be with you forever and forever. One day suddenly I will disappear - "dust
unto dust." You will not be able to grope for me. Then, if
you have become too addicted to me and you cannot be without me
you will suffer, unnecessarily suffer. And I am here not to give
you suffering; I am here to make you capable of more and more
bliss. It is good sometimes that you go far away in the world,
have your own space, move in it, live in it.
And whatsoever you have gained here with me, test it in life,
because an ashram is not in life. An ashram at the most can be
a discipline; it is not an alternative life. At the most it can
be a school where you have a few glimpses. Then you carry those
glimpses in the world - there is the criterion, the test.
If they prove real there, only then were they real.
Living in an ashram, living with a liberated man, living in
his energy field, you may many times be deceived that you have
attained something. It may not be your attainment; it may be just
because of the magnetism that you touch new dimensions. But when
I am not there and the atmosphere of the ashram is not there and
you move in the ordinary day-to-day world, the world of the market,
the office, the factory - if you can carry the goal that you
have attained here and it is not disturbed, then really you have
attained something. Otherwise you can live here in a dream, in
an illusion.
No, if it were possible for me to have you all here, then too
I would have sent you. I would have actually done as I am doing
now; there would have been no change. This exactly is helpful
as it is.
Don't feel hurt when I send you away - you need it. And
don't feel too elated when I tell you to be here - that too
is a need. Both are needs. And don't make a fixed principle, because
things are very complex, and every individual is unique.
Sometimes I allow somebody to be here because he is so dead
he takes a long time to evolve. Somebody evolves so soon - then
within weeks I say, "Go." So just being here don't feel
elated, and don't feel hurt if I send you away. Sometimes I retain
somebody because he is very balanced and there is no fear yet
that he will eat too much, fall the victim of the disease of overdose;
then I allow him.
Sometimes when somebody, I feel, has attained something, then
too I send him away; because only the world can be the proof of
whether you have attained or not. In the isolation of an ashram,
in a different atmosphere, you may have glimpses because you become
part of the collective mind that exists here. You start riding
on my waves; they may not be yours. But when you go home you have
to ride on your own waves - may be small, but better because
they are your own, truer to you, and finally they alone have to
take you to the other shore. I can only indicate the way.
A Master should not become a bondage; and it is very easy for
a Master to become a bondage. Love can always be converted into
bondage. It can always become an imprisonment. Love should be
a freedom; it should help you to be liberated from all fetters
and bondages. So I have to keep myself continuously alert: who
has to be sent, who has to be allowed to stay here, and how much.
A rhythm is needed - sometimes being with me and sometimes
not being with me. A day will come, you will feel the same. Then
I will be happy with you. Whether with me or not with me you remain
the same; whether here in the ashram, meditating, or working in
the marketplace you remain the same - nothing touches you;
you are in the world but the world is not in you: then you make
me happy. Then you are fulfilled. yoga602
A sannyasin asks: I'm going back to Scotland. The question comes
to me of whether I should make this sort of decision myself or
should I come to you and ask?
When you cannot make the decision, when it seems impossible, only
then. If you can make the decision, there is no need. You make
the decision. One has to learn by and by to be on one's own and
one has to trust oneself more and more. My help should not become
a dependence. It should help you to become really more alert,
more trusting of your own life, of your own heart's voice.
So when you come to me and ask, it is not that I answer. I have
to search into your heart to see what really would have been your
decision if your own heart were functioning. I never give any
decision on my own because that would be destructive. It would
be something from the outside. So when you ask, I look into you;
I don't decide. I look into you, I feel you, I see your own heart
which you cannot see, and I let that heart decide. So at the most
I interpret your heart to you. I am a midwife.
So if you can decide, good. By and by you will start listening
to your own inner core and what it is saying. And that trust has
to arise. Otherwise trusting in me can become dangerous to you,
because then you're always depending on some outside agent. It
can become a habit, so that when you are alone or when you have
gone far away from me you will be at a loss as to what to do.
So even while you are here, whatsoever you can decide, decide.
When you feel that it is almost impossible for you to come to
a decision, the pros and cons are almost balancing, you are divided
half and half, then only come to me. And then too, I can help
you; I don't impose anything on you. At the most I become a bridge
between you and yourself. That's my function.
So by and by you can see the bridge, and you can go on moving
from yourself to your real self; my need is less and less. One
day there is nothing that you cannot decide. Then you have come
of age. You become mature and ripe.
So the first effort should be to decide on your own, otherwise
people start coming for small things; that's bad. That is dangerous,
a very harmful practice, because then you will lose all direction
and you will always depend on some outside authority to tell you
what to do and what not to do. That's what has happened to the
whole of humanity. Every child is being directed by the parents,
the society, by the teachers, the authorities, the priest, the
state. There are so many people leading you so you lose all sense
of direction. Whenever these authorities are not there, you are
simply stuck. You cannot move; you are paralysed. So if your father
is not there, you seek a father-figure.
If your belief in one religion is gone, you immediately turn to
another religion. If you stop going to one church, you start going
to another church, but somewhere or other you are seeking the
priest, somebody to tell you what is right, somebody to give you
the commandment: 'This is right'; somebody to give you a sense
of certainty that he knows. If you stop going to churches, you
go to a psychoanalyst to tell you something, or you go to the
politician. But you always go to somebody and you never come home.
A master is not an authority, and whenever you see that a master
has become an authority, he is not a master; he has become poisonous.
A master is at the most a very polite hint, not an authority.
He simply cares about you. He has no ideas to impose, no directions
to give. He has no commandments. He is not in any way an expert.
He simply loves you, cares about you, and under his care you start
growing.
Now it is a very paradoxical thing: you have to be helped but
in such a way that the help does not become a habit; that is the
paradox. Help can be withdrawn completely but then you are not
helped. Then your freedom will become licence. You will move not
knowing where you are going. You will stumble here and there almost
like a drunkard, or you may start moving in a vicious circle.
So to be left totally alone is dangerous and to depend totally
on somebody is also dangerous. Somewhere between the two is the
golden mean - to depend and yet not to depend. Take as much
help as you can from me, but the help is to make you more mature.
The help is to make you so alert that less and less help is needed;
the help is not to make you more helpless. So, increasingly less
and less help should be needed. That should be the basic effort.
So always decide.
Whenever you see some problem has arisen, it is a good opportunity,
a challenge, a critical moment. Use it creatively, find out ways
and means. Listen silently to your own heart and if a certainty
arises from there, good; you have taken my help already. But only
in rare moments when you cannot decide, when the darkness is too
much and you are absolutely confused - if you decide this
and the mind says that, if you decide that and the mind says this,
and you go on hanging between the two; you cannot even see that
one voice is the voice of your major being, you are divided fifty/fifty - then
only come to me. Then too, remember always that it is not my advice
that I am giving to you. It is your innermost heart that I am
handing over to you. Soon you will start seeing it. roseis26
Osho usually advises visiting students to complete their formal
education, unless they are not enjoying it:
A new sannyasin asks if she should complete the last year of her
bachelor's degree in religion and philosophy.
It is good to continue and to finish it. It will be helpful. Philosophy
cannot give much, but it can give you a framework. It can give
you a certain language to understand things, a certain clarity
about concepts. It cannot give anything existential, but it can
give you an intellectual clarity. And it is good training. One
should not think that anything is achieved through it, but it
can clear the ground for something to be achieved. So, good…one
year is there. You finish it. roseis04
Osho often reminds sannyasins to meditate. Besides a new name,
wearing orange and mala, the only requirement to be a sannyasin
is one hour's meditation a day:
Back home, continue to meditate - at least one meditation
each day. And this is going to be your moment-to-moment meditation:
remember to feel blessed. If you can do that much, when you come
back next time much will be possible. cypres01
A sannyasin asks: I've been a doctor for the past ten years in
Canada, working as a general practitioner and also an anesthetist.
I don't know whether to return to that or to be here.
It is good to continue the work and to continue working on yourself
side by side. It is always good to be in the world. Never be an
escapist because escape is not going to help. The best arrangement
is to work in the world but don't be lost in it. Work for five
or six hours and then forget all about it. Give at least two hours
for your inner growth, a few hours for your relationship, love,
children, friends, society.
Your profession should only be a part of life. It should not overlap
into every dimension of your life, as ordinarily it does. A doctor
becomes almost a twenty-four-hour doctor. He thinks about it,
he talks about it. Even when he is eating he is a doctor. While
he is making love to his woman, he is a doctor. Then it is a madness;
it is insane.
To avoid this, people escape. Then they become twenty-four-hour
sannyasins. Again they are making the same mistake - the mistake
of being in anything for twenty-four hours.
My whole effort is to help you to be in the world and yet to be
a sannyasin.
Of course it is more difficult because there will be more challenge
and situations. It is easier to be either a doctor or a sannyasin.
It will be difficult to be both because that will give you many
contradictory situations. But a person grows when there are contradictory
situations. In the turmoil, in that clash of the contradictions,
integrity is born. You become more centred.
My suggestion is that you go back but with this decision: that
you work for six or eight hours and then for the remaining sixteen
hours you are not a doctor at all. Use those sixteen hours for
other things: for sleep, for music, for poetry, for meditation,
for love, or just fooling around.
That too is needed. If a person becomes too wise and cannot fool
around, he becomes heavy, sombre, serious. He misses life.
So a wise man has to be so wise that he can allow himself a little
foolishness also. That is the greatest wisdom: to use foolishness
also as a part of life so that you can laugh - not only at
others but at yourself also; so that you can play for no profit,
no motive; so that you can simply relate to people for no reason
whatsoever. You can do many things that are not economical, not
political; things that are just for pleasure.
One should also remain a child. If you can find an old man collecting
stones on the seashore, then he has understood life. If he can
still enjoy collecting seashells just like a small child, with
reverence and awe, full of as much wonder and surprise as if he
has come across treasures, then he is really wise. He has matured.
Real maturity always retains something of childhood, and a real
wise man always remains available to foolishness also.
So my suggestion is that you be here for as long as you want,
and then go. Continue your profession back there as a sannyasin.
Move in orange and let people laugh. You can also laugh with them.
Life should be multi-dimensional; then it is rich. A doctor is
monotonous; a politician is monotonous. Just one tone, just one
note, they go on repeating, repeating, repeating. So seek, discover,
investigate new realms and make life as rich as possible.
Life should be of many colours, rainbow-like. All the colours
should be there. One can face God only when one has become like
a rainbow, with all the colours absorbed - nothing sacrificed,
nothing excluded, everything included.
Whenever you can come here, come, and then go back. Later on,
finally you can settle here, but here also you have to be a doctor,
mm? Good! cypres03
A sannyasin, who is leaving, says: It's very hard for me to leave
you.
Yes, it is hard for me too! You don't understand my trouble: every
day so many sannyasins leave me; just think of me! letgo02
Osho often gives sannyasins a small handcrafted wooden box when
they are leaving.
A sannyasin says she feels sad at the thought of leaving.
Don't feel sad…but it's natural. Soon you will be back.
You will feel sadness but it is good; that too is part of growth.
Sometimes one needs sadness too. Remaining just happy by and by
becomes shallow. You need to move to the opposite polarity. The
day should become the night too. And height is good but depth
is also needed.
Somehow humanity has missed the beauty of sadness. It is tremendously
beautiful, because the pain that it brings is a growth pain, a
birth pain. So it is good to be here with me, and happy; then
to go and be a little sad. Then you will come again with more
possibility to grow.
It is going to be just like a little fast, mm? The fast helps
the hunger to come back. If you are here with me too long, by
and by there is every possibility that you will start forgetting
me, because that which is too close, that which is too obvious,
is forgotten. That's how we have forgotten ourselves - we
are so close to ourselves, and a little distance is needed.
I know you will be sad, but accept that sadness and be grateful.
That too is good. Go with total acceptance of whatsoever is. Say
yes to everything, whatsoever happens, and then each moment brings
infinite possibilities for growth.
And I am coming with you. You will just have to learn how to
feel me when I am not physically close; that's a learning. Once
you know the knack of it, it is very simple. And you can feel
even closer than when you are physically near me, because when
the hunger is deep and you miss me, the urge is greater. When
the urge becomes intense, the distance, the physical distance
disappears, and the distance in time also disappears.
People who still love Jesus become contemporaries of him, and
he of them - after two thousand years. People who love Buddha
suddenly can move into a different world; suddenly they are walking
with him after twenty-five centuries - they can be with him.
But very great intensity is needed, mm? So if you are really
intense - and the intensity will come the more you will be
there, far away - when you really feel the urge to be near
me, keep this box in your hand this way, (Osho places the small
wooden box in his left hand with the right one covering it) as
if you are protecting something tremendously valuable, delicate,
fragile…a flower. Then close your eyes and just remember
me. Just remember as I am sitting here, just the same way. And
immediately the whole climate will change. Either I will have
to be there, or you will be here, but the climate will change
Good.
And go happily….wobble21
Just a small sannyasin, Dheeresh, was going back to London.
I gave him a box and told him not to open it. He said. "Yes,
I will not open it." And then I talked to his mother, and
again I told him, "Remember not to open it." He said,
"I will never open it." The mother said. "He has
already opened it!" yoga710
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