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Part VII : Old and New Friends
Mm, here is Mukta…. She cannot hide any feeling. If she
is angry with me, immediately I know; if she is happy, I know.
Just the moment I see her, I know how she is.
Impossible for her! halle14
Just a few days ago it happened that a Japanese man took sannyas
and Mukta told me that he was a she—some mistake from the
office on her chart. So I gave him sannyas and gave him a 'Ma'
name, but he was a man. And you know the Japanese, they are so
polite they will not say no. I have heard that the Japanese have
no equivalent word to no, they always say yes—hai. They
are just being polite.
So he accepted even that. He didn't say, 'I am a man. I am not
a woman.' Only later on was it known that he was a man and I had
given him a 'Ma' name. sufis207
Whether you are a man or a woman, if you live in hippie style,
sometimes it can be very difficult.
When I give sannyas to somebody and I cannot decide, I have to
ask Mukta, "Mukta, what do you think?" And now she has
learned; whenever she feels that I will be in suspicion, she silently
whispers, "She is a woman." trans404
Sadarji is Osho's guard since many years:
A belly laugh, like Swami Sardar Gurdayal Singh a belly laugh.
Learn from him. He is our Zorba the Greek in this ashram. Learn
from him how to laugh.
Unless your belly goes into ripples you are not laughing. People
laugh from the head; they should laugh from the belly. yoga1010
You ask: Beloved Osho, please help me. Show me my path: love
or meditation. Give me one sutra suitable to my nature.
It is from Neelam. I know her. I have known her long enough,
not only in this life, but in other lives also. Her path is absolutely
certain: it is love. Through love she is going to achieve. Through
love she is going to be. Through love all that can happen will
happen to her, and I can say it absolutely. I may not be so certain
when others ask me. Somebody who has come very recently, I have
to know better, to penetrate him more, to watch him in different
situations, to watch his moods, subtle layers upon layers of being,
then… but about Neelam it is absolutely certain. I have
known her in this life, I have known her in other lives. Her direction
is absolutely clear: love is her meditation. belov202
Chetna is Osho's launderess for many years. She asks: Beloved
Osho, will you marry me?
Again? The day you became a sannyasin you got married to me. This
question is from Dharma Chetna. To ask again means you have forgotten!…
Sannyas is a marriage—but it is deeper than the marriage
that you know about. In an ordinary marriage two bodies meet.
At the most, if one is very fortunate, two minds meet—that
is rare. The marriage that sannyas is, is not of the body not
of the mind, but of the souls. Two beings meet. To be with the
Master is to be in deep love with the Master, to be surrendered,
to be open, to go with him wherever he is going with gratitude,
with trust.
You are married, Chetna. Keep alert. Don't go on forgetting. tao212
Sheela is Laxmi's assistant
Then there are thousands of ways of going away. Look at Sheela—she
is fast asleep. This is a way of going far away. She can only
go so far, and then the mind says, "It is better to fall
asleep. Now it is getting unbearable." sands206
You ask: This morning in the lecture I was fast asleep and suddenly
felt a hard weight on my back. At first I thought I must be snoring
or making a noise and someone must have woken me to stop me, but
I found out that no one had hit me. What was it?
The question is from Sheela.
I have not answered it up to now because each day when I wanted
to answer she was asleep again! It is not a new question! I have
been waiting. But today she is awake so I thought that this is
the moment.
Sheela, can't you recognise my hand when I wake you? sufis202
Whenever I see that somebody is yawning somewhere, I know now
a joke is needed—and immediately the yawning disappears.
Even Sheela comes back from her sleep! Once she is certain that
now I am going to talk metaphysics she falls asleep, she goes
to sleep, she takes a rest. But the moment I start a joke, even
in her sleep she remains that much alert: immediately she is back.
bestil01
Satya Vedant:
It happened to Sheela's sister. She was in a camp and she wanted
to take sannyas, but the husband was not willing. The husband
is a very, very educated man, hmm?…director of a research
institute somewhere in America. Then she went home. There was
constant fight. She wanted to take sannyas, she wanted to be initiated,
but he wouldn't allow. Then he came to see me—"Who
is this man who has been disturbing our life?" And he took
sannyas. Now the wife is creating trouble! Now the wife is absolutely
against. And he is a very simple man, really beautiful. And he
goes on writing to me: "What to do?—because I love
her, but she has completely changed since she has heard that I
have taken sannyas." This is how things go. yoga505
Maneesha, one of Osho's editors, asks: I am suffering from writer's
block! I wonder, how is it that lately, as I feel more and more
overwhelming gratitude and love, I become less and less able to
express it? It pains me that I cannot share what I am experiencing.
Your love-sick bard, Maneesha.
It happens, Maneesha. The more you feel for me, the more you will
feel incapable of expressing it.
Superficial feelings can be expressed easily; words are adequate
for them. Deeper feelings cannot be expressed adequately words
are not adequate for them. Words are too superficial. When the
feeling goes very deep, it goes beyond words. You can feel it,
you can be thrilled by it, you can feel the pulsation all over
your body and being, but you cannot put it into words. You can
try and you can feel that you have failed. When you put it into
words something very tiny comes up—and it was so huge when
you were experiencing it, so enormous. It was so overwhelming.
Now you put it in a word and it is just a drop—and it was
an ocean when you were feeling it.
I can understand Maneesha's problem. She is my bard and the
deeper she goes into me and into herself, the more and more difficult
it will be for her, the more and more incapable she will feel:
But that's a good sign. That's a sign that something really tremendous
is happening.
Go on trying to express—because even if it cannot be expressed,
it has to be expressed. Even if you cannot put the ocean of your
heart into the words, don't be worried. If even only a few drops
get into them, that's good—because even those few drops
will lead people towards me, even those few drops will give them
a taste, a taste of the ocean.
And remember one thing, even a single drop of the ocean is as
salty as the whole ocean. And even a single drop of the ocean
is as much water as the whole ocean. It may be small but it has
the same flavour. It may be very small but it has the same secret.
If you can understand a single drop of water you have understood
all the water that exists on the earth or other planets. Even
if water exists on some unknown planet, it will be H20. We don't
know, but if water exists on some unknown planet, it will be H20
and nothing else. We know the secret. A single drop of water has
the secret.
So don't be worried. The song is going to become more and more
difficult. The deeper you go, the more you will feel dumb. The
deeper you go, the more you will feel that silence is needed,
the more you will want to sing the song in silence. But silence
will not be understood by people. And Maneesha is my bard so she
cannot be allowed.
So let the writer's block be there. I will go on hammering on
it and destroying it. And you go on singing your song. sufis208
My personal physician is Dr. Devaraj. His father was also a
well-known physician. His father has left in his will a strange
condition; Devaraj will be able to get his heritage if he fulfills
the condition. The condition is that the day he is accepted by
the Royal College of Physicians as a fellow of the society, he
will be able to get the money from the bank. If he never becomes
a fellow, if he is not accepted by the Royal College of Physicians,
which is the most significant fellowship in the whole world as
far as physicians are concerned…
When I came to know about it, I could see the incomplete ambition
of the poor father. He would have longed his whole life to become
a fellow of this royal society. Now he is burdening his son with
his ambition. He will be gone, but still he wants his ambition
to be fulfilled. And if the son cannot fulfill the condition he
will be left as a beggar on the streets, he will not be able to
inherit his father's lifelong savings. And he is the only son…the
money will rot in the bank, but he cannot get it.
Fortunately he managed, and managed far better than the father
would ever have dreamt of. He became—he was accepted as
a Fellow of the Royal College of Physicians, the youngest in their
whole history. People are accepted when they become old, experienced,
when they have written many books and papers and done many researches
and contributed much. Devaraj did everything very quickly. He
was the youngest fellow of the royal society. satyam04
One of the doctors who used to take care of me before Devaraj
came, never stayed with me more than two or three minutes. And
Vivek used to be surprised…because he would come, and he
was in such a hurry—almost nervous, perspiring, in an air-conditioned
room. It looked as if I was the doctor and he was the patient!
And he would ask a few questions and he would say, "I will
go out and I will give the prescription to Vivek." And then
he would almost run out of the room.
He never came to any lectures, he never came to any celebrations,
although he promised many times, saying that his wife wants to
come, so maybe this time he is going to come on the celebration
day. But they never appeared.
And Vivek used to ask me, "What is the matter? Why is he
so nervous?"
I said, "You don't understand: he is a very successful doctor,
the topmost in the city, and he is afraid not to get in any way
impressed by me, hypnotized or something. He does not want to
get involved in any way except as my physician, and even that
was only because it added to his qualifications that he was my
personal physician." But he would almost escape—he
could not even walk, he would almost run and jump out of the room—and
Vivek had to follow him into another room, and there he would
write the prescription or anything that he wanted to instruct
her about.
The fear was that it is dangerous…One of his friends,
Ajit Saraswati, was my sannyasin. They were colleagues and they
had studied together; both had studied in the West. And then Ajit
specialized in gynecology, and finally he became a sannyasin.
He used to tell the doctor, "You need not be afraid—nobody
is made a sannyasin forcibly. You can at least come to listen
to what is happening there or come to see what is happening in
a meditation there."
But to Ajit Saraswati he said, "I am simply afraid. I am
at the top of my profession. I am earning well. My children are
getting educated, and I don't want to disturb things. Everything
is going so good that I don't want to get into anything that can
distract me, and Osho is dangerous: he can distract me. He can
pull me into meditation and into sannyas."…
In India, people are interested in riches, technology, more
factories, but I don't see people interested in meditation or
in spiritual growth. Twenty-five centuries of poverty have erased
the whole idea of spiritual growth. They want to be rich, they
want to be a dominant country in the world. mystic32
Scientific knowing is possible, but scientific knowing is not
applicable here.
You can know me scientifically. My doctor comes to examine my
body; he knows me in a way. You don't know me in that way, you
know me in a totally different way. My doctor is afraid to come
to listen to me, because he does not want to lose a patient. If
he listens to me, then I will be the doctor and he will be the
patient! He comes and he is in a hurry to escape.
Once it happened that he was holding my hand—I had some
trouble with my thumb—and something happened to him which
was not scientific. Outside the room, he told Vivek, "He
is God, he is God!"—but since then I have not seen
him, he has simply disappeared. Something nonscientific, something
which was not of the head…. He felt me for a moment but
became frightened. wisdom28
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