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Part X : 1987-1990 Poona-Two : Ma Tzu,
and the great matter about Anando and Maneesha#146;s jealousy
In mid-September 1988, Osho speaks on Zen master Ma Tzu, who
introduced extreme measures to enlighten his disciples. During
this series, Osho uses his own methods to draw awareness to jealousy.
This is triggered by a horse for the Museum of Toy Gods.
Ma Tzu rebelled against the traditionalism that had grown after
Bodhidharma. He introduced totally new ideas, new devices—hitting,
shouting. Nobody had ever heard that you can wake up a man just
by shouting at the right moment; it was a great contribution to
human consciousness that hitting can become a reward….
Ma Tzu went even further: the shoutings and the beatings nobody
had ever heard of. His effort was so new—that enlightenment
is possible if the master hits you at the right moment, or shouts
at you at the right moment; that his very shout takes your consciousness
to the deepest center of your being. What meditation does slowly
slowly, a good shout of the master, unexpectedly, in a situation
when the disciple was asking some question, and the master jumps
and shouts, or hits him, or throws him out of the door, or jumps
over him…These methods were never known. It was purely the
very creative genius of Ma Tzu, and he made many people enlightened.
Sometimes it looks so hilarious: he threw a man from the window,
from a two-story house, and the man had come to ask on what to
meditate. And Ma Tzu not only threw him, he jumped after him,
fell on him, sat on his chest, and he said, "Got it?!"
And the poor fellow said, "Yes"—because if you
say "No," he may beat you or do something else. It is
enough—his body is fractured, and Ma Tzu, sitting on his
chest, says, "Got it?!"
And in fact he got it, because it was so sudden, out of the
blue—he could never have conceived it. He had heard that
Ma Tzu hits people, Ma Tzu shouts at people, but he had never
heard that he throws them from a two-story building. He had multiple
fractures…and then Ma Tzu jumped on him and sat on his chest.
At that moment he was absolutely in such a shock that the mind
stopped functioning—and that was the purpose of the whole
thing. And because the mind stopped functioning, and Ma Tzu was
sitting on his chest, looking into his eyes—a great silence,
the same blissfulness that comes out of meditation. What a strange
way! isan04
Before I discuss Ma Tzu and his statements, I have to inaugurate
another god to Avirbhava's Museum of Gods. This is a very important
god. I will tell you about the god before Avirbhava brings it
in front of you.
The name of the god is horse. It has been worshipped around
the world for centuries. Even today there are places where the
horse is worshipped as a god….
I am allowing these animal gods in this campus to make you aware
of your past. And it is not passed completely, it is still hidden
in your mind….
Varanasi, in the whole world…
(At this moment ripples of laughter spread through the assembly
as a white horse enters the auditorium through the door to the
left of the podium, gallops around it and disappears through the
door on the right.)
So, Avirbhava, you can come back, your horse is introduced. Come
back to your seat.
(Great applause from the audience.)
Now, Maneesha's statements about Ma Tzu and his work: matzu08
The following evening Maneesha is unable to come to discourse.
In her place, Anando reads reads the sutras and questions to Osho,
including a question from Maneesha
Now, the question that has created in Maneesha a migraine, so
that Anando has to represent her. She has asked:
A situation that occurred last night was such a vivid illustration
for me of how you are a living teaching Master of Zen, a Man of
Tao.
When the horse came trotting into the hall, anyone in your place
would have been disconcerted because they could not see what the
cause of the laughter was. You simply stopped talking and allowed
events to take a new course. You looked so vulnerable, so innocent
and unknowing, in those moments…
This is not really a question; I just wanted an excuse to make
sure the incident did not go unrecorded.
This question—which is not a question—has created
in poor Maneesha a migraine. She must have felt, how is she going
to read it to me? But she is perfectly right, and she need not
be worried that just for the record she has asked a question which
is not a question.
In Maneesha I have found a better recorder than Ramakrishna had
in Vivekananda, or even Socrates had in Plato. She records everything
perfectly well, that's why she has become shy—it is not
a migraine. Tomorrow she will be here again.
There is no need to be afraid, you can ask me anything. You can
give any record of events. I enjoyed last night's episode. It
is not that I was annoyed, I was enjoying it so tremendously because
it was such an unexpected phenomenon. I thought perhaps Kalki,
the white horse, had come; because his time is close—just
twelve years more. By the end of this century Kalki is going to
come. So I thought if he has come here it is a really great moment,
and here there will be no need for him to make any judgments because
all are sinners!
And he came a little early, because inside him was great Avirbhava,
and Avirbhava's associate, Anando, and naturally inside that horse
you cannot remain long. One must be feeling suffocated. So they
came a little early. It was Anando who was pulling Avirbhava back,
"This is not time!"—but Avirbhava jumped in.
It would have been a great accident if the horse had fallen in
two. That would have been absolutely against the tradition, and
somebody would have put a case against me, that their religious
feelings are hurt—Kalki breaking down in the middle.
But they both managed perfectly well….
Maneesha, your recording is perfectly good. Next time when you
feel the migraine, still come. When people do two minutes' gibberish,
throw away your migraine—somebody will catch it! Just throw
it far away. Everybody is trying it a double way: he is throwing
his things out, and moving his hands to protect himself, because
others are also throwing out all kinds of bullshit. One has to
protect oneself—just exchanging your bullshit will not help.
matzu09
The following evening, Maneesha is back, but Anando is unable
to attend
This book is dedicated to Anando in spite of her reluctance.
She has behaved very unconsciously for these two days.
First, I am always worried about it that Maneesha is not allowed
to take a holiday, migraine or no migraine, because if she is
absent even for one evening—and I know she has this trouble
of migraine for years—somebody else has to take her place.
But just to take her place for one day is dangerous. The taste
of it, and then one starts thinking, "Why should I not continue?"
It is almost as if you are made the king for one day. It will
be difficult for your whole life.
So first she freaked out because I still addressed Maneesha, care
of Anando. I could see her face and I could see her response.
She did not like it, she wanted to be addressed directly. But
I knew it was better to be "care of," because tomorrow
she would be gone.
The same trouble happened with Vimal. For a few days he was sitting
with almost tears in his eyes. Once he has tasted the joy of asking
me the questions, and then he has to give back the place, his
kingdom is taken away. Now he has come back to his right mind.
I did not want to disturb him again. That's why I ask Anando.
And I have my own ways of working. In every way I try to find
out some secret which needs to be revealed to the person. Anando
may not be aware that she is never nice to anybody who is nice
to her. She becomes nasty. It is her wrong upbringing from her
childhood that she has carried. Secondly, she is never happy to
receive anything. It needs courage. Perhaps you may not be aware.
One loves to give, because by giving you are higher, but one has
to learn to receive. At least when you are sitting at the feet
of your master, you have to learn to receive. It hurts the ego
that you are on the receiving end, not on the giving end.
I wanted to see how she would receive it. She missed the point.
First she freaked out about Maneesha's question, because she thought
that Maneesha had indicated in it, that the horse came a little
early and disturbed my speech. Because she was one half of the
horse, she thought Maneesha was trying to raise the question again
before the whole assembly, although there was no question of Maneesha
raising it.
Maneesha was asking something else. She was trying to inquire
about me, what my response was to this suddenness. That's why
Avirbhava was not disturbed. She was the main part of the horse;
Anando was just the back part. Avirbhava proved to be more alert
and conscious, seeing that the question did not have anything
to do with the coming in early. In fact the early coming was very
good: it surprised everybody except me. But I am crazy anyway.
Nothing surprises me….
Anando was not exactly disturbed by it; that was a very superficial
thing. She was disturbed because I called Maneesha a better reporter,
a better recorder than Ramakrishna had in Swami Vivekananda, or
Socrates had in Plato. She became hurt because she is doing so
much work. She is working hard on all the new books and their
publication. She is in charge of the whole of publications and
all of the construction that is going on in the ashram. Obviously
she thought that Maneesha has been praised—and a subtle
jealousy, and the female mind…. I wanted them to be exposed.
And the next day when I said that this new series was going to
be dedicated to her, Anando freaked out even more—so much
so that she is suffering from a fever which is absolutely psychological,
emotional. She was absolutely okay when she was sitting here,
and just as she reached her room, she declared that she had a
great cold coming. And immediately, because that is the time she
comes to see me—when I am taking my supper, she comes to
see me—she did not come. She really wanted to avoid me because
I have seen something which she was hiding. Not only did she not
come to me, but she even removed herself from Lao Tzu House to
Krishna House, with an excuse that she was getting a cold. She
phoned Nirvano to say that she was getting suspicious, and that
by dedicating the new series to her, "Osho is trying to blackmail
me."
This way you can see the difference between the disciples that
Ma Tzu and Hyakujo had. Even if they were hit on their heads,
they would bow down and touch the feet of the master. So much
has changed in the world of consciousness. Man has fallen so low.
For what should I blackmail? But just anger, the anger of being
"care of," that anger became almost hysterical. Now
whatever she is saying…again and again she has been phoning
Nirvano asking, "What has Osho said about me?" I have
not said anything. I waited for this question from Maneesha. I
cannot take my word back….
This book will be dedicated to Anando with the words, "In
spite of herself." And I will be dedicating more books. I
would love to dedicate books to all of you.
If time permits and existence allows, each buddha is going to
have a book in his name as a respect and love from the master.
hyaku01
Two evenings later Osho says:
I have to settle this great matter about Anando. I call it the
great matter, because to me you all are buddhas. You may know
it, you may not know it, but in my vision, I perceive you in your
perfection. I want and hope that one day, you will also be able
to see clearly your buddhahood, because that is the only solution
out of the troubles of the mind….
Anando has written:
Beloved Osho,
I am sorry. I must be the most stubborn and stupid disciple of
all time. I am not even sure I can be called a disciple after
my behavior.
I feel terrible that I forced you to hit me so hard, but I saw
that my layers of pride and my stupid defenses of independence
from love were so old and so thick, that I needed something drastic.
I still don't know what you did, except that boy, did it hurt.
Now I understand why the truth is so unpopular.
But in spite of my worst efforts, you, with your love, have managed
a miracle again. I feel healed and so grateful.
Thank you sounds so inadequate, but I say from the depth of my
being: I wash your feet with my tears of gratitude.
Anando
Anando, you have done perfectly well. It was something troublesome
in you that you have dropped in this crisis. This crisis was painful—every
crisis is—but few crises bring a new approach, a new attitude,
a new being in you. And this crisis has brought a new dawn to
your life.
People don't understand at all that they are afraid of love. People
think they are very loving, but their unconscious is very afraid
of love. Love means merging, and that seems to the mind as if
you are losing your independence, your individuality.
In ordinary love affairs it is true to some extent. That is the
whole struggle between lovers, continuously fighting. It is not
certain things that they are fighting about—any excuse and
they are fighting. Their fight is to survive as an individual.
This flood of love creates great fear in them.
But this is about the ordinary love affairs. What to say about
the great love affair between the disciple and the master? It
is a very tidal wave, but the difference is that the tidal wave
will not take away your independence. In fact, you don't have
independence right now, it is just a vague idea. You don't know
freedom, you don't know independence.
With the tidal wave of a master's love, all that is slave in you
will be drowned. You will come out fresh, more independent, more
individual, and yet, more grateful, more peaceful, more graceful.
That's what has happened to you, Anando, you have come back home.
You have gone a little astray, but with me it is very difficult
to go astray. I give you as much rope as you want—I give
you the whole rope—and then you come back with that whole
load of rope.
You proved to be an authentic disciple. And what you are saying
is not simply words, it is your very heart.
When I hit someone, remember always, I hit myself more deeply.
I can understand that you are healed, because my pain has disappeared,
and I can feel your gratefulness. Not only was I feeling the pain
through which you were going, the whole assembly was sad.
I would like Anando to bow down to all the buddhas here—they
were all sad for all these days that you were in deep pain. Fighting
with it, you have come victorious.
It is not enough to be grateful to me, you have to be grateful
to all the buddhas who are working here together in search of
a lost treasure, a lost golden climate. It is not an organization
of buddhas—buddhas don't organize—it is simply a meeting
of brothers and sisters in a deep love. They are all moving towards
the same center of their being, and the universal being.
Anando, come in front and bow down to the whole assembly. This
will be a record for the future.
(Anando walks to the front of the assembly and stands in front
of everyone in namaste. Osho tells her to bow down. She bows,
and in response, before she returns to her place, everyone bows
down.) hyaku03
My heart is empty. And the more empty you become, the more you
can be intimate with me. You will be intimate with me in becoming
an empty heart. Then you will be falling into the same tune, the
same dance, the same music. And this intimacy is not the old intimacy
we talked about. It is a totally different intimacy, qualitatively
different. I may not even know your name, you may have never met
me personally, but still you can be intimate with me, because
I am giving intimacy a totally new dimension. If your heart is
empty, suddenly you will be in tune with me. And this intimacy
will not create any jealousy.
All those old intimacies were creating jealousies even in the
masters' assemblies. If three persons were intimate, do you think
others were not offended? Do you think others were not jealous?
Everybody wants to be specially intimate. That was not possible
in the old way, but my definition of intimacy is such that the
whole universe can be intimate with me without creating any jealousy
in anybody.
You can be intimate because it is not dependent on me, it is dependent
on you. You empty your heart and in that emptying of the heart
you will become my intimate. You may be on another planet, that
does not matter. And in this dimension of intimacy, there is no
limitation. Everybody can be specially intimate to me. matzu05
Two weeks later, Osho addresses the same problem of jealousy,
in answer to Maneesha's question about a Zen anecdote
Whatever Nansen meant when he requested "special treatment"
for Joshu, apparently it didn't mean Joshu moving into Lao Tzu
House and having private, daily chats with the master. On the
contrary, Joshu's first job was in Zorba the Buddha restaurant,
slaving over a hot stove. What is the lesson here for us?
Maneesha, in the first place your question has come neither from
mind nor from no-mind, but from migraine. I would have given you
a good hit, but I don't hit people. My representative, Stonehead
Niskriya, is hitting people in Germany. I have heard that he hits
people, strangers, sits on their chests and asks, "Got it?"
And obviously, to get rid of this fellow they have to say, "Yes!
But what is it?" Niskriya says, "I don't know myself;
I am just spreading the message." Fortunately he is not here;
otherwise he would have given you a good hit.
"Special treatment" does not mean a special job. "Special
treatment" means: Be careful of this man; his flowering is
very close. Don't neglect him in any way, because there are thousands
of monks…Whatever job you give him, that is not the point.
But just be careful: it is a precious time for him, he is ripening.
And any moment, suddenly he will explode into enlightenment. He
already had a satori….
So when the head monk was told by Nansen to give Joshu special
treatment, that did not mean to give him special comforts. That
did not mean to give him no job, that did not mean that he had
to be thought of as superior to others. Give him any job—that
is the function of the head monk in a monastery—but keep
an eye out, don't forget him. There are thousands of people you
have to take care of. Keep an eye out, because this man is not
going to stay unenlightened long. He is going to become a buddha
very soon.
So it is not a question Maneesha, that special treatment means
"moving into Lao Tzu and having private, daily chats with
the master." If you are aware of what you are asking…do
you see your jealousy? Do you see your woman? How do you know
that the people who are allowed to come to me are chitchatting?
They have their work; they need instructions, they are called
because of their work. It is not that they have the right to come
to me to chitchat. What will I chitchat about?
They have their work just as you have your work. Others are
jealous of you. You are also in Lao Tzu and you have the special
work of collecting my words, of editing my words. When we are
all gone, Maneesha's collections will be remembered for centuries.
But it is very difficult to get rid of our jealousies….
The first commune was destroyed because of women's jealousies.
They were fighting continuously. The second commune was destroyed
because of women's jealousies. And this is the third commune—and
the last, because I am getting tired. Once in a while I think
perhaps Buddha was right not to allow any women in his commune
for twenty years. I am not in favor of him: I am the first who
has allowed men and women the same, equal opportunity for enlightenment.
But I have burnt my fingers twice, and it has always been the
jealousy of the women.
Still, I am a stubborn person. After two communes, immense effort
wasted, I have started a third commune, but I have not created
any difference—women are still running it. I want women
here in this commune not to behave like women. But small jealousies…Now,
somebody has to bring my food—the whole commune cannot do
that. Somebody has to make my room clean, my bathroom clean—the
whole community is not needed there; otherwise the result will
be the opposite!
I call Anando every morning while I am eating, every evening
while I am eating, just to give her instructions so that nothing
goes wrong. Things go wrong so easily…and because Anando
has been in all three communes, and is a law graduate, she understands
very clearly why these two communes, created with such great effort,
with so much money poured into them, got destroyed. She has a
very clear conception. And whatever I say, she manages to do it.
I have not heard her saying a single time that, "I have forgotten."
She immediately takes notes and reports the next day what the
situation is. Otherwise, very easily things can go wrong….
I don't go anywhere. I don't know where the office of my secretary
is, where the office of my president is, where the office of the
ashram in-charge is. I know only three places: my bedroom, my
bathroom, and Buddha Hall. If anybody asks me any question about
the ashram, I am absolutely ignorant. Somebody needs to inform
me—and somebody who has a comprehensive insight. So only
Anando comes, and she comes only because I ask her to come. Just
while I am taking food, she gives me information about publications,
the books, how many books are in publication, how many are going
into publication…how we should manage exhibitions around
the world, how we should find publishers. And just in five or
ten minutes—she is very accurate, not a gossipy type.
Now Maneesha's question is full of jealousy. Not only I am saying
it; Nirvano brings the sutras and the questions to show me—she
wanted to change it. I said, "Don't change it, let it be
as it is," because in commune life we should expose ourselves
without fear. Love knows no fear. If something is arising in your
mind, you should tell it.
And remember one thing: everybody is doing his work. Nobody
is to dominate anybody. Yes, everybody is allowed to suggest,
to help, but to suggest and to help does not mean that you are
being made a puppet. Nobody is a puppet here. It is a gathering
of absolutely independent individuals.
But just because it is a gathering of independent individuals
there has to be much more responsibility, much more awareness,
much more remembrance. Outside in the world you have learned jealousy,
you have learned domination, you have learned stubbornness. You
have learned that "I will do things according to my own mind;
whether it is right or wrong does not matter." It is perfectly
okay outside in the world, where there is so much mess that you
cannot make it worse. But at least in this small commune don't
bring in the outside world and the outside world's tendencies.
We are trying a great experiment, that independent individuals
can live together without enslaving anyone. Here everybody is
equal. It does not matter what job he is doing. He may be editing,
he may be cleaning, he may be cooking, it does not matter. What
matters is that you should cook with awareness, as if a buddha
is cooking. And you are cooking for other buddhas; your cooking
has to be done with great awareness and love. It is not a duty;
it is your contribution, your share, to the commune. It is as
valuable as anybody else's work. If you are cleaning bathrooms,
it is as respectable as being the president of the commune or
the secretary of the commune. There is no question of jealousy
at all, because nobody is superior to anybody else. joshu02
And the following evening:
Maneesha has asked a question:
Beloved Osho,
Has one only received a hit if it hurts?
Maneesha, a master hits not to hurt but to heal. And a disciple
receives the hit with tremendous gratitude, not with anger. Unless
a hit is received with gratitude it cannot do its work of healing.
You are all full of wounds, and they all need to be exposed to
the sun, to the open sky. Unless you allow yourself to be exposed
completely, you cannot get rid of those wounds. The normal way
in the world is to hide the wounds so nobody knows about them—go
on hiding them deeper and deeper in the unconscious, so even you
forget them. But to work on the consciousness, cleaning it from
all the wounds is absolutely necessary. Those wounds have to be
brought into the open.
You are asking, "Has one only received a hit if it hurts?"
No, Maneesha. If it hurts you have missed. If it does not hurt
but creates a gratitude, a love, it heals.
Last night I did not feel hurt.
You are an old sinner, Maneesha. You have been with this strange
man long enough….You are saying:
I saw the truth of what you said but did not hate myself or stop
loving you. Did I miss?
No, Maneesha, fortunately you did not miss. joshu03
I am harassing you every night; whether you want to be a buddha
or not, I am intent that you have to become a buddha. matzu05
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