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Part X : 1987-1990 Poona-Two : Osho mentions
his private life
I have never felt my age. I still feel like a child. As I close
my eyes I don't see any difference in my innocence, in my mischievousness.
I am the only rascal saint in the whole world.
I sometimes wonder whether I am aging or not. My beard has become
white, but it is not because of my age. It is due to the courtesy
of President Ronald Reagan's poison. One of the symptoms of the
poison thallium that he has given to me is that it turns your
hair white. It would have turned ten years later, but he helped
me, he saved ten years. He has given me a beautiful beard. The
whole credit goes to him!
When I look into the mirror, into my eyes, I see the same eyes
I have always seen from my very childhood. I close my eyes, I
look inside, and I am the same—just ageless.
That's why I go on forgetting how long I have been speaking to
you. Last night, it was really too much! I have a watch, but I
don't want to offend you so I don't look at it. Looking at a watch
means I am tired of you. I am never tired.
On the way back, Anando and Avesh said that "This was the
record!" christ04
Anando comes to wake me up at 3:30 in the afternoon. It is a
difficult task, to wake somebody who is awake. So poor Anando,
as she opens the door I say, "Hello, Anando." She has
never had a chance to wake me up to now. Just hiding behind my
blanket, I say, "Hello, Anando!"
Just the other day she was asking, "It is strange—I
open the door so silently and you are hiding in your blanket and
you immediately respond."
Amrito knows that it is absolutely impossible for me to sleep.
He tries every possible medicine and he brings all kinds of compact
disks which create sleep, and the whole night I have to listen!
But I am not at all tired. In the morning when I wake up from
my whole night of awakening, I have lost the very sense of time.
That's why last night I went on and on. I would have gone on and
on, just I remembered Sardar Gurudayal Singh; otherwise there
was no question. Only in the car, Anando told me, "You know
it is 11:05!"
I said, "My God, that is a record! If I had not remembered
Sardar Gurudayal Singh, last night was going to be a marathon
discourse. Only early in the morning when sun was rising, I would
have allowed you to go for breakfast! Some day it is going to
happen…. fire07
I myself cannot sleep at all—the whole night, not a wink….
That is my situation.
My personal physician, Amrito, has managed a CD player that plays
music continuously the whole night so that I can at least enjoy
music. Otherwise I am just lying down. For thirty years I have
not slept—but do you see my eyes tired or anything?
My own understanding is that sleep is a habit. It is not a necessity,
it is a habit. For millions of years man remained in dark caves
in the night with no fire, no light. There was no other alternative
than to fall asleep. Those millions of years the habit has become
so deeply rooted that we go on sleeping.
But my own understanding is that I have not slept for thirty years,
not dreamt for thirty years—and it has not in any way disturbed
anything in me. The whole sleep is a silent meditation, and with
beautiful music in the background, the whole night is such a blissful,
such an ecstatic experience! christ02
The man of enlightenment concentrates all the energy into one
center. All other centers are no more moving wheels, they are
stopped, just as a wheel stops moving. But if he wants, the man
of enlightenment can bring the energy down. He can bring it to
the sixth center and he can see far and wide with clarity. That
will not be possible at the seventh center.
The seventh center is beyond everything. You simply are no more.
At the sixth, again you are. The energy comes, the circle, the
wheel starts moving. You can bring it down to the fifth….
I have to bring it down to the fifth every day when I am talking
to you. Without the throat, I cannot talk. But when I stop talking
the energy goes back to the seventh. christ08
Just now, as I was getting ready to come here, taking my bath,
the cuckoos in my garden were really going cuckoo! But I wondered
that every cuckoo has its own song to sing. I could make out clearly
how many cuckoos there were. Their song was different, their sound
was different.
Existence takes care of variety. celebr03
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