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Part IV : Osho's Final Examinations, and gold medal
While I was doing my postgraduate studies the government passed
a law that every student has to go for army training, and unless
you receive a certificate from the army you will not be given
your postgraduate degree.
I went directly to my vice-chancellor and I said, "You
can keep my postgraduate degree, I will not need it. But I cannot
go to any kind of idiotic training."
The army training is basically to destroy your intelligence, because
you cannot say no, and if you cannot say no your intelligence
starts dying. In the beginning it is a little hard to say yes,
but reluctantly you say it. Slowly, slowly you become accustomed
to saying yes without thinking at all what you are saying yes
to.
I said, "I am not going to any army training. I don't care
about the postgraduate degree, but I cannot conceive myself with
somebody ordering me, `Left turn!' and I have to turn left - for
no reason at all. `Right turn!' and I have to turn right. `Go
forward!...Come backward!' This I cannot do. And if you want
me to do it, then inform the military officer that he will have
to give me an explanation for everything. Why should I turn left?
What is the need?"
The vice-chancellor said, "Don't create trouble. You just
remain silent. I will manage, I will tell the military officer
that he has to give you attendance - but don't create trouble,
because if you start creating trouble others may start creating
trouble. Right now you are the only one who has come to me; others
have filled in the forms."
I said, "It is up to you. If I am to go to the army training
I am going to create trouble there, because I am not a person
who can obey something without sufficient reasons."
But the society in every way teaches you to be obedient, to be
humble, to be meek, to be respectful to the elders. That is not
the way of spiritual growth, that is the way of committing spiritual
suicide. zara209
And you will be surprised that before deciding on my examiners,
vice chancellor Doctor Tripathi, enquired of me, "Do you
have any preference for whom you would like?"
I said, "No, when you are deciding I know that you will
decide on the best people. I would like the best, the topmost
people. So don't think whether they will pass me or fail me, give
me more marks or less marks; that is absolutely irrelevant to
me. Choose the best in the whole country."
And he chose the best. And strangely, it turned out to be very
favorable. One of my professors that he chose for Indian philosophy,
the best authority, was Doctor Ranade of Allahabad university.
On Indian philosophy, he was the best authority. But nobody used
to choose him as an examiner because he had rarely passed anybody.
He would find so many faults, and he could not be challenged;
he was the last person to be challenged. And almost all the professors
of Indian philosophy in India were his disciples. He was the oldest
man, retired. But Doctor Tripathi chose him, and asked him as
a special favor, because he was old and retired by then, "You
have to."
A strange thing happened - and if you trust life, strange
things go on happening. He gave me ninety-nine percent out of
a hundred. He wrote a special note on the paper that he was not
giving a hundred percent because that would look a little too
much; that's why he had cut the one percent, "But the paper
deserves one hundred percent. I am a miser," he wrote on
his note.
I read the note; Tripathi showed it to me saying, "Just
look at this note: 'I am a miser, I have never gone above fifty
in my whole life; the best I have given is fifty percent.'"
But what appealed to him were my strange answers, that he had
never received before. And that was his whole life's effort - that
a student of philosophy should not be like a parrot, just repeating
what is written in the textbook. The moment he would see that
it was just a textbook thing, he was no more interested in it.
He was a thinker and he wanted you to say something new. And with
me the problem was I had no idea of the textbooks, so anything
that I was writing could not be from the textbooks - that
much was certain. And he loved it for the simple reason that I
am not bookish. I answered on my own.
He appointed, for my viva voce, one Mohammedan professor of Aligarh
university. He was thought to be a very strict man. And even Doctor
Tripathi told me, "He is a very strict man, so be careful."
I said to him, "I am always careful whether the man is
strict or not. I don't care about the man, I simply am careful.
The man is not the point: even if there is nobody in the room,
I am still careful."
He said, "I would love to be present and see it because I
have heard about this man that he is really hard." So he
came. That was very rare. The head of my department was there,
the vice-chancellor was there, Doctor Tripathi. He asked special
permission from the Mohammedan professor, Sir Saiyad, "Can
I be present? I just want to see this, because you are known as
the hardest examiner, and I know this boy - he is also, in
his way, as hard as you are. So I want to see what happens."
And my professor, Doctor S.K. Saxena, who loved me so much, just
like a son, and cared for me in every possible way.... He
would even go out of his way to take care of me. For example every
morning when the examinations were on, he would come to the university,
to my hostel room, to pick me up in his car and leave me in the
examination hall, because he was not certain - I may go, I
may not go. So for those few days while the examinations were
on...and it was very difficult for him to get up that early.
He lived four, five miles away from the hostel, and he was a man
who loved drinking, sleeping late. His classes never began before
one o'clock in the afternoon because only by that time was he
ready. But to pick me up, because the examination started at seven-thirty,
at seven exactly he was in front of my room. I asked him, "Why
do you waste thirty minutes? - because from here it is just
a one-minute drive to the examination hall."
He said, "These thirty minutes are so that if you are not
here then I can find where you are - because I am not certain
about you. Once you are inside the hall and the door is closed,
then I take a deep breath of relief, that now you will do something,
and we will see what happens."
So Doctor Tripathi was there at the viva voce, and he was continually
hitting my leg, reminding me that that man was really....
So I asked Sir Saiyad, "One thing: first you prevent my professor,
who is hitting my leg again and again, telling me not to be outrageous,
not to be in any way mischievous. He told me before, 'Whenever
I hit your leg, that means you are going astray, and this will
be difficult.' So please stop this man first. This is a strange
situation that somebody is being examined and somebody else is
hitting his leg. This is inconvenient. What do you think?"
He said, "Certainly this is inconvenient," but he laughed.
And I said, "My vice-chancellor has told me the same: 'Be
very careful.' But I can't be more careful than I am. Just start!"
He asked me a simple question, my answer to which my professor
thought mischievous. The vice-chancellor thought it mischievous,
because I destroyed the whole thing.... He asked, "What
is Indian philosophy?"
I told him, "In the first place philosophy is only philosophy.
It cannot be Indian, Chinese, German, Japanese - philosophy
is simply philosophy. What are you asking? Philosophy is philosophizing;
whether a man philosophizes in Greece or in India or in Jerusalem,
what difference does it make? Geography has no impact; nor have
the boundaries of a nation any impact on philosophy. So first
drop that word "Indian", which is wrong. Ask me simply,
'What is philosophy?' You please drop it and ask the question
again."
The man looked at my vice-chancellor and he said, "You are
right; the student is also hard! He has a point, but now it will
be difficult for me to ask any questions because I know he will
make a mockery of my questions." So he said, "I accept!
What is philosophy? - because that question you have put yourself."
I said to him, "It is strange that you have been a professor
of philosophy for many years and you don't know what philosophy
is. I really cannot believe it." And the interview was finished.
He said to Doctor Tripathi, "Don't unnecessarily let me be
harassed by this student. He will simply harass me." And
to me he said, "You are passed. You needn't be worried about
passing."
I said, "I am never worried about that; about that these
two persons are worried. They somehow are forcing me to pass;
I am trying my best to undo what they are trying to do, but they
are pushing hard."
If you take anything as mischief, you have a certain prejudice.
Once you understand that whatsoever I have done in my life...it
may not be part of the formal behavior, it may not be the accepted
etiquette, but then you are taking your standpoint from a certain
prejudice.
All things - and so many things have happened in such a small
life that sometimes I wonder why so many things happened.
They happened simply because I was always ready to jump into anything,
never thinking twice what the consequences would be. ignor21
I came first in the university and won the gold medal. But I
had promised, so I had to drop the gold medal down the well in
front of everybody; the whole university was there, and I dropped
the gold medal. I said to them, "With this I drop the idea
that I am the first in the university, so that nobody feels inferior
to me. I am just nobody." person04
You will not believe me, but I only remained at university because
I had promised Pagal Baba to get a master's degree.
The university gave me a scholarship for further studies, but
I said no, because I had promised only up to this point.
They said, "Are you mad? Even if you go directly into service
you cannot get more money than you will get with this scholarship.
And the scholarship can extend from two to as many years as your
professors recommend. Don't waste the opportunity."
I said, "Baba should have asked me to get a Ph.D. What can
I do? He never asked me, and he died without knowing about it."
My professor tried hard to persuade me, but I said to him, "Simply
forget it, because I only came here to fulfill a promise given
to a madman."
Perhaps if Pagal Baba had known about the Ph.D. or D.Litt. then
I would have been in a trap. But thank God he only knew about
the master's degree. He thought that was the last word. I don't
know whether he really wanted me to go for more scholarship. Now
there is no way. One thing is certain: that if he had wanted it,
I would have gone and wasted as many years as necessary. But it
was not a fulfillment of my own being, nor was the master's degree.
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