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Part IV : University Student 1951-1957 - Osho moves to Jabalpur
Osho enrolls in Hitkarini College in Jabalpur, which is 80 miles
from Gadarwara on main road and rail routes, so he remains in
close contact with his family. From my Nani's house I moved to
my father's sister's house in Jabalpur. The husband, I mean my
father's brother-in-law, was not very willing. Naturally, why
should he be? I was in perfect agreement with him.
Even if I had been in his place I would not have been willing
either. Not only unwilling, but stubbornly unwilling, because
who would accept a troublemaker unnecessarily? They were childless,
so really living happily - although in fact they were very
unhappy, not knowing how "happy" those who have children
are. But they had no way of knowing either.
They had a beautiful bungalow, with more room than for just one
couple. It was big enough to have many people in it. But they
were rich people, they could afford it. It was not a problem for
them to just give me a small room, although the husband was, without
saying a word, unwilling. I refused to move in.
I stood outside their house with my small suitcase, and told
my father's sister that, "Your husband is unwilling to have
me here, and unless he is willing it would be better for me to
live on the street than to be in his house. I cannot enter unless
I am convinced that he will be happy to have me. And I cannot
promise that I will not be a trouble to you. It is against my
nature to not be in trouble. I am just helpless."
The husband was hidden behind a curtain, listening to everything.
He understood one thing at least, that the boy was worth trying.
He came out and said, "I will give you a try."
I said, "Rather you learn from the very beginning that I
am giving you a try."
He said, "What!"
I said, "The meaning will become clearer slowly. It enters
thick skulls very slowly."
The wife was shocked. Later on she said to me, "You should
not say such a thing to my husband, because he can throw you out.
I cannot prevent him; I am only a wife, and a childless one."
Now, you cannot understand.... In India, a childless wife
is thought to be a curse. She may not be responsible herself - and
I know perfectly well that this fellow was responsible, because
the doctors told me that he was impotent. But in India, if you
are a childless woman.... First, just to be a woman in India,
and then to be childless! Nothing worse can happen to anybody.
Now if a woman is childless, what can she do about it? She can
go to a gynecologist...but not in India! The husband would
rather marry another woman.
And the Indian law, made of course by men, allows a husband to
marry another woman if the first wife remains childless. Strange,
if two people are involved in conceiving a child, then naturally
two people are involved in not-conceiving too. In India, two people
are involved in conceiving, but in not-conceiving only one - the
woman.
I lived in that house, and naturally, from the very beginning,
a conflict, a subtle current arose between me and the husband,
and it continued to grow. It erupted in many ways. First, each
and every thing he said in my presence, I immediately contradicted
it, whatsoever it was. What he said was immaterial. It was not
a question of right or wrong: it was him or me.
From the beginning the way he looked at me decided how I had
to look at him - as an enemy....
From Gadarwara I moved to Jabalpur. In Jabalpur I changed houses
so many times that everybody wondered if it was my hobby, changing
houses.
I said, "Yes, it helps you to become acquainted with so
many people in different localities, and I love to be acquainted."
They said, "It is a strange hobby, and very difficult too.
Only twenty days have passed and you are moving again." glimps37
You will be surprised to know...I was very young when I became
acquainted with a man, one of the most intelligent men I have
come across, who was with Lenin and Trotsky in the Soviet revolution.
His name was Manvendra Nath Roy. He was one of the members of
the international commanding body of the communists, the Politburo.
He was the only Indian who ever rose to that status, and he fought
in the revolution side by side with Lenin.
After the revolution he thought, "Now my work is in India.
I have to go and create revolution in India." But here he
found himself in utter difficulty, because the Hindu mind is more
possessive than any other mind. It talks about non-possessiveness,
it talks about celibacy, it talks about morality. But always remember,
people who talk about these things are the people who are suppressing
just the opposite...
When M.N. Roy came to India, he found himself in an absolutely
different world. He was thinking that because everybody had been
teaching non-possessiveness, communism would be the easiest thing
in India. This is where logic fails. He had read - he had
lived his whole life in the West - he had only read about
Indian scriptures, that they have been teaching non-possessiveness
for centuries and centuries. So he thought people must be ready
to give all their possessions to the collective; they will not
have much difficulty in dropping their private possessions.
But when he came to India he was utterly surprised. Nobody was
ready; the very word `communism' was anathema. And because he
was a well-educated man, well dressed, used to smoke cigarettes,
the Indian mind turned absolutely against him.
Mahatma Gandhi crushed that man, who was far more intellectual,
far more significant than Mahatma Gandhi himself. But Mahatma
Gandhi crushed him because people would rather follow Mahatma
Gandhi, half-naked - it appeals to people. "This is a
mahatma. And what kind of mahatma is this who is smoking cigarettes,
who is well dressed in a poor country?" Nobody listened to
M.N. Roy.
Perhaps I was the only person who became very deeply interested
in him. It was just by chance that I met him, in a train. I was
going for my studies, traveling from my village to the bigger
city to join a university. And just on the platform we were both
waiting for the train...because in India no train ever arrives
on time....
The train was late and I was sitting on the bench, and M.N. Roy
came and sat by my side. I was reading a book by Lenin, his collected
works. He was surprised, because I was so young - may have
been seventeen years old. He looked at the big volume, and he
asked me, "Where did you get this collected works of Lenin?"
I said, "I have the whole library of Marx, Engels, Lenin,
Stalin, everybody."
He said, "You are the first man...I have been here for
seven years, continuously trying. Are you a communist?"
I said, "Right now I am nobody. But who knows? I may turn
out a communist. I am looking in every direction without any prejudice.
Whichever dimension fulfills me totally, I will be that. Communism
is my study, I am not a communist. I have to study many more things
before I can decide. I have to look into anarchism, I have to
look into socialism, I have to look into capitalism, I have to
look into spiritualism. Before that I cannot say anything. I am
just a seeker."
We became friends. He talked about his experiences in the Soviet
revolution, and he became a constant visitor to my small house.
I was living outside the city in a very small house. Nobody else
was ready to take that house because it was known as being haunted
by ghosts. So when I asked the owner, he said, "Without any
rent you can live there. At least somebody living there may create
the idea in people that it is not haunted. If a small boy is living
there alone..." So he said, "It is good. If you
need anything I will support you. I want to sell it, but neither
can I sell it nor is anybody ready to rent it. And I myself am
afraid! My wife is not willing to move with me, otherwise we could
sell this house and move there. That house is in a very beautiful
location."
It was absolutely alone. For miles there were no other houses,
and behind were the beautiful Satpura Mountains. It was so peaceful
there. He said, "I purchased it just to live there, but nobody
is willing. So you start living there."
I started living there, but I continued to create the fear in
everybody that it was haunted by ghosts because if somebody purchased
it, I would be thrown out. The owner heard that I was continuing
to create the rumor. He came to me: "This is strange. I gave
it to you free of charge..."
I said, "I will keep it free of charge! But remember, it
is haunted with ghosts. Don't come here - whenever you want
me, just phone me and I will come - it is dangerous!"
He said, "And it is not dangerous for you?"
I said, "I know a few secrets about ghosts. They are afraid
of me. Do you know anything?" He said, "No, I don't..."
I said, "You simply go back."
And I lived in that house for almost ten years without any rent.
On the contrary, I would order him, "Send me something" - and
he would bring it - "otherwise I will leave the house."
M.N. Roy used to come, and he loved the place. He used to live
in the Himalayas in Nainital, but he said, "Even there it
is too crowded, too many people have come. Roads, airport, buses - it
is no more the old Nainital I used to know in my childhood before
I left India. But your place..."
I said, "This place will remain as it is, as long as I want
to live in it. For miles nobody can build a house, because not
only this house is haunted, the whole area is haunted!" I
went on creating the rumor and making the area bigger. Nobody
was ready, even at the cheapest rate, to purchase the land.
When I talked with M.N. Roy, he said, "What do you think
is the cause of my unsuccessfulness? I was such a successful member
of the international high command of the communists. I fought
in the revolution, I was a close friend of Lenin and Trotsky,
who were the architects of the revolution. And here? I am nobody;
nobody is ready to listen."
I said, "Here, you will have to change. You will have to
be a hypocrite. You will have to smoke in your bathroom, not in
public - in public, speak against smoking. You will have to
wrap yourself in a small cloth just covering you down to your
knees, just like Mahatma Gandhi - or even smaller will be
better. Shave your head and become a mahatma, and I can manage
everything for you. But first become a mahatma. I will call a
barber here, and he will make you a mahatma."
He said, "My God - first I have to become a mahatma?"
I said, "Without becoming a mahatma, in this country you
don't have any appeal. This country is so fucked up that first
you have to pretend all kinds of things. You don't drink tea - if
somebody sees you drinking tea, finished! You are not a mahatma.
"In the cold, you have to remain half-naked. You will get
accustomed, don't be worried. All the animals are accustomed,
and you are an intelligent animal so you will get accustomed.
It is only a question of two or three years and then heat or cold,
all are the same, because your skin becomes thicker and thicker.
And your skull also becomes thicker and thicker! You will be a
mahatma, and everybody will be listening to you."
He said, "I cannot do that."
I said, "Then forget all about leadership." And he
died an unknown man. If he had lived in the Soviet Union he would
have been a cabinet minister.
This country is so prejudiced. fire05
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