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Part IV : Other professors
I had once a friend who was a professor, and I have been his
student also. For my postgraduate studies I was his student, and
then when I also became a professor in the same university we
became colleagues. But our friendship was old, since my student
days. He had the idea that to see a woman is the greatest sin.
Now he was a well-qualified professor.... He used to walk
with his umbrella covering his eyes, so that he could see only
two or three feet ahead. And he used to run so fast - his
bungalow and the department were not very far apart. With his
umbrella touching his head he would run almost to his house and
lock his house from inside.
In the class I was the only male; there were two female students.
There were only three persons in his class. He could not look
at women; it was against his religion which believed that celibacy
is the foundation of religion.
So he used to teach with closed eyes. Seeing him teach with
closed eyes, I thought this was a good opportunity to have a good
sleep. So I was also sitting with closed eyes. Those two girls
wondered...and they felt strange also: the teacher is asleep - with
closed eyes he is speaking; the only male student is listening
with closed eyes....
The professor thought that I must be following the same ideology
of celibacy. He was very happy, because in the university he was
laughed at. Now at least there were two persons belonging to the
same idea. He took me aside one day and he said, "You are
doing it perfectly well. But how do you manage on the road? - because
I don't see you carrying the umbrella."
I said, "To tell you the truth I don't belong to your madness.
I'm simply sleeping; this is my time to sleep. My whole life I
have slept from twelve to two without any exception."
Even in school I used to disappear for those two hours. In the
university I used to disappear, and when I became a professor
I asked the vice-chancellor, "These two hours are absolutely
sacred to me. You can give me periods before or after, but these
two hours you cannot touch."
He said, "What is the matter?"
I said, "The matter is that these two hours are devoted to
sleep. If you give me a period I will sleep - and I will tell
all the students to fall asleep, to just keep quiet and silent
and enjoy."
So he gave me periods after two o'clock.
I told the professor - Bhattacharya was his name - "You
are under a wrong impression. I don't believe in such idiotic
ideas, because with your closed eyes you are seeing the woman
more. What are you seeing with your eyes closed? And in fact,
why have you closed the eyes? You must have seen the woman first,
then only can you close your eyes. And if in seeing a woman your
celibacy is disturbed, it is not much of a celibacy. What will
you do in a dream?"
He said, "You are right. In a dream I cannot do anything.
Neither is the umbrella there...and the eyes are already closed - the
women are inside. Do you have any suggestion?"
I said, "Because of this umbrella and because of these closed
eyes your dreams are disturbed by women. If you drop this idiotic
discipline that you have imposed upon yourself...Women have
their own business. Who is bothering to come into your dreams?"
He said, "No, my father followed the same ideology, my forefathers..." - he
was a brahmin from Bengal - "and I cannot drop it, although
I know the whole university thinks me mad."
But others have their own madness. It may be different, may
not be detectable if everybody has it, but to be sane there is
only one possibility and that comes out of meditation; otherwise,
whatever you do is going to be insane because it will be coming
out of your unconsciousness. You will not be doing it in your
alertness, in your awareness. invita29
One of my teachers was a very rare being. He was a little eccentric
as philosophers tend to be. He was one of the greatest philosophers
of this century in India. Very rare, not much known - a real
philosopher, not simply a professor of philosophy. He was very
much eccentric.
Students had long dropped coming to his classes when I came across
him. For many years nobody had entered into his class because
sometimes he would talk continuously for three, four, five, six
hours. And he used to say: 'The university can decide when the
period starts, but the university cannot decide when it stops,
because that depends on my flow. If something is incomplete, I
cannot leave it. I have to complete it.'
So it was very disturbing. He would take the whole time sometimes.
And sometimes he would not say a single thing for weeks. He would
say: 'Nothing is coming. You go home.'
When I entered his class, he looked at me and he said: 'Yes.
You may fit with me. You also look a little eccentric. But remember:
when I start talking, whenever it stops, it stops. I never manipulate.
Sometimes I will not be talking for weeks; you will have to come
and go. Sometimes I will talk for hours. Then if you feel uneasy,
if you want to go to the bathroom or something, you can go - but
don't disturb me. I will continue. You can come back. Silently,
you can sit again. I will continue because I cannot break it in
between.'
It was a rare experience to listen to him. He was completely oblivious
of me, the only student. Rarely would he look at me. Sometimes
he would look at the walls and talk. And he was saying profound
things with such a deep heart that it was not a question of addressing
someone; he was enjoying. Sometimes he would chuckle and enjoy,
his own thing he would enjoy. And many times I would go out and
talk to people. After minutes, after even hours sometimes, he
was there. And he had been talking. sage05
One of my professors, a professor of economics, was built almost
like a wrestler, a very big man, but inside a chicken. I was very
friendly with him. In fact, he had to be friendly with me, because
that was the time when the medium of expression was changing.
From English it was becoming Hindi. So he was accustomed to speaking
English, but many times he would get stuck with some word, and
I was his only hope - that I would supply him the right word
in Hindi.
I used to give him right words, but once in a while I would...
Once he got stuck with the word `haggling'. He looked at me, and
I was in the right mood, so I said, "It means chikallas."
Chikallas really means joking with each other, not haggling. Haggling
is debating over the price.
So he started using the word chikallas: "When you go into
the market and you start chikallas..." and the whole
class laughed. He looked at me, "What is the matter?"
I said, "I don't know what is the matter. Why are these people
laughing?"
He said, "There is something, because whenever I say 'chikallas'
they start laughing."
I said, "This is chikallas - when you say something and
people start laughing!"
He said, "I thought you were my friend! I have been depending
on you for translations, and you give me such a word?"
I said, "I was in the right mood! When I am in the right
mood, you should not ask me anything." christ08
I had a professor when I was a student at university. He was
a world-famous chemist, and his idea was this: that chemistry
is the only real science. And one day will come when all other
sciences will disappear, because chemistry can explain everything.
It can explain life, it can explain love, it can explain poetry - because
reduced to facts, all is chemical. Existence is chemical.
One day I was following him - he was unaware - he had
gone for a walk. It was a full-moon night. He was holding his
wife's hand, and I followed him. I didn't allow him to know that
I was there. It was a full-moon night, and he forgot that he is
a chemistry professor and a great chemist, and he kissed the wife...and
I said "Stop!" He was shocked. And when he saw me he
said, "What do you mean by 'stop'? It is my wife."
"That is not the point," I said. "But what are
you doing? - this is just chemistry. And a man of your understanding
kissing a woman? Just a small chemical transfer from here to there?
Just a few germs from her lips to your lips, from your lips to
her lips? What are you doing? Are you affected by the moon? Have
you become a lunatic or something? And why are you holding her
hand? How can you explain it chemically?"
But there are people who are trying to explain things chemically,
physically, electrically. They only destroy life's mystery.
I told the professor, "Whenever you kiss your wife, remember
me, and remember your philosophy."
After three, four weeks, I saw him again and I said, "How
are things going?"
And he said, "You have disturbed me very much - because
it really happens. When I kiss my wife, I remember you....
"
Life is not reducible to chemistry, is not reducible to logical
syllogism. Life is far bigger. Its mystery is infinite. Only love
can understand it. Only love has that infinity to cope with it.
Everything else is very finite. Only love can dare to move into
the indefinable, to move into the subtle. perf205
I myself have been very interested in painting. From my very
childhood I started many paintings but not a single painting have
I left intact. I have burned all of them.
One of my professors was a painter himself. I used to visit his
studio, and I used to say sometimes, "This seems to be wrong.
If you do a little change here then the whole impact of the painting
will be different."
He started asking me, "Are you a painter? - because whatsoever
you suggest, reluctantly I do it, and certainly it improves the
painting. And by and by I have dropped my reluctance. I simply
accept your suggestion. But this is possible only if you are a
painter...because there are so many people coming here. Even
my own students who are painters never suggest that this is wrong;
just a slight change will do a miracle. And it does. So you have
to explain to me the truth."
And I don't know why Sagar University in India.... I have
traveled all over India continually for thirty years, but I have
never seen such colors in the sky as happens over the lake by
the side of the university in Sagar. Never have I seen anywhere
such splendor; the sunrise, the sunset, are just divine...without
there being any God.
I painted, and destroyed my paintings. Only a few friends have
seen them. I allowed this professor to see a few of my paintings.
He said, "You are mad - these paintings are far superior
to mine. You can earn so much money, you can become world famous.
I said, "I accept your first statement. You said, `You are
mad' - I am! That's why I am not going to leave these footprints
of a madman for others to travel and follow." I have destroyed
all those.
I love poetry. I have written poetry. But I continued to destroy
it. My basic standpoint was that unless I am no more, whatever
I do is going to harm others. This is the Eastern way.
Now it is unfortunate that when I disappeared, the desire to paint
or to make a statue or to compose poetry all disappeared too.
Perhaps they were just part of that madman who died. And I am
happy that nothing of it survives. dark27
The scholars are so clever in destroying all that is beautiful
by their commentaries, interpretations, by their so-called learning.
They make everything so heavy that even poetry with them becomes
non-poetic.
I myself never attended any poetry class in the university. I
was called again and again by the head of the department, that
'You attend other classes, why you don't come to the poetry classes?"
I said, "Because I want to keep my interest in poetry alive.
I love poetry, that's why. And I know perfectly well that your
professors are absolutely unpoetic; they have never known any
poetry in their life. I know them perfectly well. The man who
teaches poetry in the university goes for a morning walk with
me every day. I have never seen him looking at the trees, listening
to the birds, seeing the beautiful sunrise."
And in the university where I was, the sunrise and the sunset
were something tremendously beautiful. The university was on a
small hillock surrounded by small hills all around. I have never
come across...I have traveled all over this country; I have
never seen more beautiful sunsets and sunrises anywhere. For some
unknown mysterious reason Sagar University seems to have a certain
situation where clouds become so colorful at the time of sunrise
and sunset that even a blind man will become aware that something
tremendously beautiful is happening.
But I have never seen the professor who teaches poetry in the
university to look at the sunset, to stop even for a single moment.
And whenever he sees me watching the sunset or the sunrise or
the trees or the birds, he asks me, "Why you are sitting
here? You have come for a morning walk - do your exercise!"
I told him that, "This is not exercise for me. You are
doing exercise; with me it is a love affair."
And when it rains he never comes. And whenever it rains I will
go and knock at his door and tell him, "Come on!"
He will say, "But it is raining!"
I said, "That's the most beautiful time to go for a walk,
because the streets are absolutely empty. And to go for a walk
without any umbrella while it is raining is so beautiful, is so
poetic!"
He thinks I am mad, but a man who has never gone in the rains
under the trees cannot understand poetry. I told to the head of
the department that, "This man is not poetic; he destroys
everything. He is so scholarly and poetry is such an unscholarly
phenomenon that there is no meeting ground between the two."
Universities destroy people's interest and love for poetry.
They destroy your whole idea of how a life should be; they make
it more and more a commodity. They teach you how to earn more,
but they don't teach you how to live deeply, how to live totally.
And these are the ways from where you can get glimpses of Tao.
These are the ways from where small doors and windows open into
the ultimate. You are told the SIZE=2>ggate06
We have been given such a beautiful existence with such glorious
seasons. In the fall, when the leaves start falling from the trees,
have you heard the song? When the wind passes through the dead
leaves which have gathered on the ground...even the dead leaves
are not as dead as man has become; still they can sing. They don't
complain that the tree has dropped them. They go with nature wherever
it leads. And this is the way of a true religious heart: no complaint,
no grudge but just being blissful for all that existence has given
to you - which you had not asked for, which you had not earned.
Have you danced while it is raining? No, you have created umbrellas.
And it is not only against the rain...you have created many
umbrellas to protect you from the constant creativity of existence.
When I was a student in the university, whenever it used to
rain it was an absolute certainty that I would leave the class,
and my professors became aware that "When it is raining,
you cannot stop him. He has to go." And I had found the loneliest
street, with tall trees reaching and touching the clouds. On that
silent and deserted road, there were only a few bungalows belonging
to professors and deans, and the vice chancellor. It was a silent
place and it was a dead-end street.
The last bungalow belonged to the head of the department of physics.
His family had become accustomed to it, that if I was there, the
rain was bound to come; or if it was raining, I was bound to come.
We had become simultaneous, to the family.
The whole family used to look - "What kind of crazy boy
is this?" Soaked in the falling rain, in the dancing winds...and
because that was the dead-end, I used to stay under a tree as
long as it continued to rain. The family was certainly curious.
They wanted to inquire, "Who is this boy?" But the head
of the department of physics had become interested in me for other
reasons. He was a lover of books and he always found me in the
library. There were days when we were the only two persons in
the library.
He started becoming more and more loving and friendly towards
me and he said, "You are a little strange. You should be
in your class, but I see you most of the time in the library."
I said, "In the class, the professor is almost always out
of date. He is saying things which he read when he was in the
university thirty years ago. In these thirty years, everything
has changed. I want to keep pace with the growing wisdom, knowledge,
science. In fact, in the library I am more a contemporary, in
touch with the latest findings. So I go to class once in a while
when I feel a desire to argue. My professors are happy that I
remain in the library because whenever I visit their classes,
it is always trouble. There is a gap of thirty years and I have
all the latest information."
He said, "One day I would like to take you to my home.
I want you to be introduced to my children, my wife, to show them
that here is a student who has come to the university not for
degrees but to learn; not for certificates and gold medals but
to keep in tune with the explosion of knowledge in all directions,
in all dimensions. Sometimes, even although I am the head of the
department of physics and you have nothing to do with physics,
you know more than I know. Now it is too late to cover the gap
of thirty years; I have lost contact."
So one day he invited me. He was feeling that his family would
be immensely happy to meet me, to talk with me, to listen to what
I had to say. But he was very much shocked - as we entered
his house, the whole family started laughing, and they escaped
inside the house!
He said, "This is very strange. They have never done this
before. My wife is a postgraduate, all my children are getting
educated. This is not a behavior.... "
I said, "You don't know; I know your family, we are well
acquainted. Although we have not spoken to each other, we have
known each other for two years."
He said, "This is strange. I wasn't even aware of the fact."
I said, "Don't be worried and don't feel sad and sorry and
hurt by the behavior of your family. What they have done is absolutely
right."
We entered, and the family gathered. He asked them: "What
was the reason for you all to start laughing and why did you all
escape? Is this a way to welcome a guest? And I had informed you
that I was bringing a guest that you would all love."
They said, "But we are almost in love with the guest already.
He's the craziest fellow in your university. Not only does he
waste his time, when it rains, he wastes our time too because
we cannot go inside until he leaves. He's an interesting fellow."
Then I explained to him that I loved running miles against the
wind - one feels so alive - going for long walks without
any umbrella, particularly when it is raining. Even when it is
a hot day and the sun is throwing fire, it has its own beauty - to
perspire and then to have a jump in the lake. The water feels
so cool, just the contrast.
One who understands life will not be left behind. mess113
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